What do you do when your WS isn't agreeing with anything that you are trying to implement when it comes to the Policy Of Joint Agreement?<BR>I've asked that be be accountable for his time....he says he can't. Meaning when he goes on his drives to be alone...which are becoming more frequent....he can't account for that time other than telling me where he was. No proof. He says there is no way he can be with the OW because she is at work....which is true...but he could be calling her on her cell phone. He says that his word should be enough for me....*cough cough...snicker* I don't think so.<BR>I've asked about the No Privacy Rule and he says that everyone needs some privacy....didn't go into detail about it though.<BR>I've asked that he stop staying after work while the 2nd shift people are on break..sometimes up to 45 minutes..he's not getting paid for this time.....and he says he stays<BR>over to talk to friends....the OW works 2nd shift. (when he came home the first time he was meeting her after work giving me excuses every day as to why he was late) So in my mind I'm seeing his friends as more important than his family.<BR>I've asked him to be honest and open with me...and he's not.<BR>He tells little white lies about where he is sometimes....even when it has nothing to do with the OW.<BR>I've asked him to cut off all contact with the OW at work and he thinks I should be ok with him saying Hello to her.<BR>He isn't agreeing to anything I'm asking....won't even meet me halfway.<BR>He wants things his way.....but his way is....forget it....trust me....believe me...just take my word...that should be good enough for you.<BR>Sorry....his word doesn't really mean much to me right now.<BR>maybe I'm doing or asking something wrong?

When your H doesn't show remorse enough to do everything he can to save your marriage, which number one would be to get another job away from her, then I feel it's time to say "move out" and mean it. He obviously doesn't think you will do anything serious so he will get away with what he can. He is also extremely insensitive to what he has done and continues to do and that is take chances on being near her. It sounds as though he still may be having contact. Until all contact ceases, he will never come out of the fog and truly see the damage that he has caused. A tougher approach is called for here.<P>Take care!<P>Hope4more

I agree with hope4more. He is the one who broke the trust, therefore he is the one who has to prove that he is trustworthy. He also must stop all contact with the OW. If this means finding another job then so be it. Anything less means that me is not committed to the marriage.<P>Now long has this been gong on? Maybe it's time for plan B?<P>Let's suppose for a moment that he is having no contact with the OW at all. In that case his behavior is insenstive and mean. It leaves in the state of feeling more then a little "crazy" and unsure about where you stand. He is not being a good, caring husband. <P>Because of his previous behavior and his continued current behavior, I would assume that something is still going on. He has proven nothing different to you.<P>This is not something you need to put up with. <P>Z<P>