Ok, let me give you the situtation. A little over a year ago I cheated on my Wife. It was a one night stand with someone that we both knew. I told her about a month after it happened. I thought we both delt with it and put it behind us, I was wrong. My wife went away for a while to be with her family and friends and that is when I find out that she has been miseriable for a long time. She says she can't trust me and she can't get the idea of me and this other girl out of her head. She is so afraid of being hurt by me that she is thinking about a divorce. I knew we had problems but I had no idea she was so unhappy for so long. I love her and I don't want to be apart from her. What makes it worse is how I found out about our serious problems. She has a friend that is having trouble in his marriage. Well, his wife called me and said that her husband and my wife are sleeping together. When I confronted my wife over the phone everything else came out. Those two have been talking and confiding in each other. for the better part of 6 months. I don't know what to do. I love her so much and I stand a good chance of loseing her because I was to stupid to read the sings of distress that she was putting up. They are all real clear now as I look back but it may be too late.

Sounds like both good news and bad news. The bad news is obvious. You both screwed up.<P>What's her attitude? Is she willing to work on your marriage? If so, both of you need to get hot and read everything on this site you can find and get into counseling. If not, you need to do this alone.<P>The good news is that, based on your description, the truth is out and acknowledged. This is a tremendous step in the right direction.<P>Get smart by reading and then come back with more details and specific questions. You can salvage this. <P>Since the OM's wife had the good sense to inform you, consider telling her about this site. She needs it too, obviously.<P>WAT

Welcome <B>tatfrk</B>...<P>There is a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>You're new to this...<BR>...and have all of our sympathies.<P>You would do best by learning all you can...<BR>...by starting on the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome</A> post.<P>Do start on a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>Check out my post <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>.<P>Ask... read... vent... post...<P>You are not alone!<P> <P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>Jim</A> / <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>NSR</A>

Worthatry<BR> Well as soon as I realized there was a problem I went to counseling. keep in mind I found out only six days ago. My wife is still in another state and she won't be back until june 15th or there abouts. She is really hurt and I don't know if she wants to try and work through this or not. I found this web sight 2 days ago and I have printed out all the basic concepts, and have been reading pretty much non stop. I really don't know what else to write or what questions to ask. I could give you the story of what happened from begning to end starting with his wife calling me, but that would be like writing a book. I will continue to go to counseling and visiting this websight. I can hopefully show her that I am sorry and that I do love her.. Thank you for your reply.