Today is Sunday and I just found out Friday night that my husband cheated on me. He denied it at first but then said he was sorry and he probably felt worse about doing it. We have a 4 year old son. I am so angry and hurt right now. I have cried for 3 days straight. I know I can't keep letting this get to me. A part of me wants to leave and the other part wants to stay. My husband says he loves me and wants to work things out. Please help me!!!

kjn4evr,<P>I am so sorry you need to be here but so glad you found us since you do. Honey you are still in shock. Remember that. Your whole world has been turned upside down, don't expect to much of yourself right now. <P>In fact don't do anything other than take care of you and your son. You don't have to decide anything today I strongly urge you not to make any decisions at this point. <P>I can tell you that I am almost at three years past d-day of my H's last affair and it is possible to survive it, it is possible to stay married, make no mistake, it will take work, lots and lots of work from both of you. Your first job is to breathe, eat sleep , bathe and generally stay alive. To most people that is easy, but for those who have just discovered an affair even that is work !<P>Next read, read everything here starting with this thread. <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html</A> <P>It is a general welcome from one of our regular posters here, he's a great guy who decided to help all our new members out by providing a map of sorts. <P>And post here, post a lot, get it all out. Use the forum to vent, to cry and to get support. Ask your H to join you here, I know mine didn't understand that my pain, hurt, anger, rage, insecurties were real until he came here and saw that many many women and men were going through the same emotional roller coaster ride.<P>Pray, pray for yourself, your child, your H and marriage.<P><BR>

Bozos_ Deb gave you good advice. Please do look into all that is provided on the link given.<P>The short story on where to start is read Dr. Harley's book "Surviving An Affair". <P>I can tell you that this book saved my marriage. Without it guidance I am not sure I would have had the courage to stay with my husband after discovering his affairs. D-day for me was March 22. It will take you time to heal so give yourself the time. I've heard that it takes at least 2 years to recover from an affair. So give yourself the time. <P>If you and your husband will both read the material in the SAA book, and follow the road map it lays out, you will be able to move beyond this pain.<P>I also encourage you to have your husband visit this site. My husband has been reading and posting here for a few weeks now. We read and discuss that postings and have learned a lot from them.<P>Good luck<P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

Hi Kjn,<P>I am sorry for the shock and pain you are in right now. You have been given excellent advice that has worked for me. In your current condition, there will be a lot of physical affects along with emotional and mental repercussions. The info will help you be prepared. If your H is willing to work with you, please try to get to a counselor and even have a chat with either Steve or Jennifer Harley. They offer a phone counseling service that is a lifesaver. <P>Know this. While there will be progress, be prepared for a few setbacks. Either on yoru part or that of your H. Don't give up yet, this is part of the rollercoaster ride that comes with the territory. We will allow you the time to digest and recover from your shock. <P>Pray for a calm heart and a clear mind for both you and your H. Then take care of yourself.<P>Your support is here.....<P>L.<BR>