sorry its been so long since my last post. well d day was the 24th of may since then he has changed alot he took my house key i had it the whole time we were seprated. he has activly started seeing the ow again. it is realy killing me.i have been a decent person about it i am trying very hard to make him happy.he acts weird around me like i'm a stranger.but he still will have sex with me, and that gives me false hope i am just hurting myself i need to let go but my heart is having a hard tim doing so. i know its best for me i am tired of being depressed. i do have a start, i have started getting off the phone with him right before my heart totally breaks it helps some,im sure it will get better it just takes time. a couple of friends went out all day saturday i realized i dont want the single life i'll never date again it felt weird being out in the world. i dont like it at all. i'll try to post more often if he would just give me that darn key thanx for being here 4 me guys. Please pray for my family.<P>Amanda

Hi Amanda,<P>I don't want to kick you when you're down, that's for sure, but your post confuses me... and, truth be told, your posts have done that from the beginning.<P>I guess I just don't get it. Or maybe I do -- because you seem a lot like my ex-H.<P>You had several OM. Paul came here, to MB. He never deviated from his desire to put his marriage back together. He posted for about two years. You continued in your life style. Then, he {wrongly, but I really DO understand it, since I did the same thing -- do as I say, not as I do } meets up with a friend who makes him feel better about his failed marriage, and his failure as a husband. You continue in your life style.<P>You decide to make the marriage better, come here for about two weeks to a month, and **say** you want to save your marriage, act confused and angry about his friend, and then you two get a divorce ~ and within a month it's all over.<P>Now, here you are: You say you never want to date again, your ex-H is seeing his friend, he has taken your key to the house, but you still have sex with him? <P>All of this is one side of the story, which is why I would love to hear from Paul... what does this all mean? I simply must be a dolt, because it makes no sense to me.<P>I am sorry for your pain, truly... and yes, I will pray for you.<BR><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>And we know. We who have seen. ~Pellegrino