Well after over two years of trying to fight for my marriage. My wife gave me the paperwork today on the divorce. She said her hand was shaking when she signed and still does not know if she is doing the right thing. But she is dead inside and there is too much resentment to make it work. I told her that there was hope to still make things work but she still gave me the paperwork. When I asked her if this is waht she really wanted she said please take the paperwork and why are you making it so hard?<P>She has had her wedding ring off for the last month since our talk. I gave her mine back today and did not really say much. What a waste!

Ya know what <B>zip</B>? The sad thing is that I understand both of you... I was where she is {that lovely "dead inside" feeling} and where you are {trying to make it work with an unworking spouse} and both sides suck, and yes, it is a waste.<P>I am TRULY beginning to think that MB works in wonderous ways for some {if not many} but you {both spouses} must realize that when infidelity enters a marriage, it never leaves, EVER. That's a hard pill to swallow, whether you are the WS or the BS. <P>I remember that feeling of signing the papers with a shaking hand and wondering if I was doing the right thing. David cried as he handed over the papers to me... didn't stop it, or try harder to keep me, but cried nonetheless. sigh. <P>Keep on taking care of you, <B>zip</B>. That's all you can do now. <P><I>edit: oh, by the way, I'm the old new_beginning... just in case you didn't know.</I><P> <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>And we know. We who have seen. ~Pellegrino<p>[This message has been edited by Nyneve (edited June 04, 2001).]

Sheryl,<P>I did know that it was the "Old New Beginning". You were one of the very first people to respond to me when I came here 2 years ago. So many people find the end road of divorce because they thing that there is no other option. Also when you surround yourself with people that give you bad advice it adds to the problem. I guess looking back you can see something like this coming over the last couple of years. It is like a death in the family of someone that has been sick for a very long time. There is some relief in what is going to happen.<P>

Zip,<P>I am so sorry to hear this news after all of the work. Hang in there, things will get better.<P>God Bless,<P>JL

Just got off of an hour call with her. We talked and she says that she has been crying all day. Told me that she is going in round and round but has never been this unhappy. BTW OM is divorced and I am sure that has much to do with it even though she denies it.<P>We talked a lot about what went wrong and how we lost the ablity to have fun. She told me that she has been very mad at me and has been trying to punish me. The kids were going in the background so we talked about picking it up later. I jokingly told her we should go away to an island for a week and just have fun. She kind of laughed at that. Well let's see what happens.