I'm fed up.<BR>I feel like I am doing everything possible to make this work with my H but no matter what I do...it's not working.<BR>I shower him with love and affection...and I'm told that he doesn't want to be touched. It would be ok if it was only occasionally....but 4 out of 5 days? <BR>I know that everyone needs time alone...to think....but he goes on drives....for up to an hour...and just says he is driving around....nowhere in particular. Can't account for where he was or what he was doing. He can't be with her on these drives because she is at work....and he isn't gone long enough to go meet her but he could be calling her cell phone and I wouldn't know. (paranoid on my part.....but it's a given with what we've been through)<BR>He says his word should be good enough for me.<BR>His words up until 7 weeks ago at least have pretty much been lies....a few lies since he's been home too.<BR>He says he wants to make this work...but doesn't seem to be trying. His words say he does...his actions say otherwise.<BR>He says I'm the only one he wants to be with....but doesn't act like it.<BR>He says he loves me more than just as a friend and the mother of his children but isn't in love with me yet can't console me when I'm upset over something not even related to the A. He says he wants those feelings back badly...yet does nothing to try to get them back.<BR>All in all.....he SAYS he wants to be here....but does nothing to prove it. He wants everything to be his way.<BR>I just don't know what to do anymore.<BR>I just want this part of my life to be over and gone.<BR>No matter what I do....it's not right.<P>

Just some general words of support.<P>A good plan A means you are working on yourself too! What have you done for yourself lately? <P>As long as you focus on him and the A it will will drive you nuts. Have you considered an antidepressant? I started taking Celexa and the anxiety has evened out. I can go for minutes at a time without thinking of him or A .<P>I also have started exercising which has helped me with my energy level and sleep. (I have lost 30 lbs and a couple of sizes). I bought new clothes, colored my hair. H is noticing other people notice me. (But I don't mention changes to him...they are for ME.)<P>I quit telling him I love him. I quit calling him at work. I have started 'pulling back.' I will not be a yo-yo in his life. I am consistent, patient and his wife.<P>Guess the gist of this is to strengthen yourself. You can do it! <P>------------------<BR>Cali<P>"Humble yourselves, therefore,under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." <P>1 Peter 5:6-7