Looking for guidance from those who are dealing an affair and the details of that affair (just now discovered) that goes back 10 years or more. W confessed there was an OP two years into our marraige she claimed it wasn't PA but was coming home at all odd hours of the night......I told her you must end it and now know I used Plan A. After much confusion and fear, and pain, it apparently ended. Well....we moved to a differant state and never discussed it again. The devastation drifted from my memory and we rebuilt the relationship. 10 years later and two children later.....a fear began creeping in that something might happen so I asked what really went on back there. Well the truth came out......PA......and our world crashed again. How long does it take for the hurt to subside. Can it ever be the same? We love each other but the lies and deception all seem like they happened yesterday. This emotional rollercoaster is horrible. Help