Hi, it's been a while since I last posted - as some of you know my WH is currently back in England with our 2 children, on vacation - I decided to stay here in America and have 2 weeks of rest and solitude.<P>Well, I have been dishonest and I am ashamed to admit this, but I found a way of getting into my husband's e-mail account and I have been able to read e-mails from the OW to him (although I can't read his replies). I know that I was warned against doing this, but I felt as though I had to 'know my enemy' in order to 'fight back' effectively. <P>The e-mails are strange - not sexual at all - but just as if she is writing to a close friend. Just day-to-day stuff. It's also strange that there is never any 'I love you's' or similar closings at the end of the messages. Occasionally she will state that she misses him, or she's been thinking about him, but no words of actual love for him. I did find out a few things which have disturbed me though:<P>1. He bought her a present (CD) before he went on holiday<P>2. She has been on vacation with her husband AND he is completely unaware that she is still in contact with my WH, as she writes "I can't e-mail you over the weekend because of my husband" (all the mails are sent from her workplace). From this information I am presuming that she is still having sexual relations with her husband - otherwise he would 'suspect' right?<P>3. She has mentioned that she is looking forward to the time when my WH will show her England personally.<P>4. And in the latest e-mail she says "And last, I would love to see you as soon as you get back; however, I have already been fantasizing about that reunion, so right now I really don't trust myself and I will have to get back to you on that" I am presuming from this that my WH has asked to see her IRL when he returns (they have only been in contact via e-mail for several weeks now).<P>I am disappointed - I thought (hoped), that being back amongst his relatives, without me, would have maybe jolted him back to his senses, but this relationship with the OW just seems to be growing. I have tried to Plan A while he's been away, by e-mailing him chatty letters regularly - but he very rarely replies to mine, then it's just a couple of lines - whereas he is obviously writing extensive letters in reply to the OW's e-mails. <P>I have a bad feeling that I am going to be forced into Plan B - and I don't want to do that, because it will mean me and the kids moving back to England, and the hassle of buying a house and moving schools. However, I think it will be the only way that he will finally get a feeling for what life is like without us. I am tempted to ask him to put the house up for sale as soon as he gets back and just to get on with moving back, but when I think of all the hassle and extra stress that moving will cause myself and the children, then it all gets overwhelming and I don't think that I am strong enough to cope with any more. If all this had happened 2 years ago, back in England, then it would have been so much easier!<P>Need advice, hugs, (even prayers ), and anything else you can send me...<P>Paintbox.

Paint,<P>Oh honey, I'm sorry to hear your having a tough time. You are still in my prayers.<P>((((((((((PAINTBOX))))))))))<P>I'd send you some extra strength but I don't have any to spare right now. <P>Hang in there!!<P>K

Paint,<P>I don't know your whole story, but do I get it right that your H has never met this woman in person? Just emails for several weeks?<P>What was happening before that with you and H?<P>I sounds like he has started fantasyland recently.<P>I personally did whatever I could to learn what was happening to my wife and OM, so I understand you doing that. That one is a matter of personal choice, always a good debate, but I wanted to know.<P>I should say that in my wife's emails, they were most often composed of very friendly stuff, "I miss you today" kind of stuff, but it took awhile before there was any outgoing ones with sex related talk. But finally one day, with keyboard tracing, I discovered a huge letter she sent, talking about the sex, how she thinks of him 24 hours a day, he is the first thing she sees when she wakes up (really is was me, but oh well), bla bla bla. So, you never know what is really going on behind the scenes. You probably didn't need to hear that.<P>Sounds like Plan A is the best approach at this point. Moving so far away would be a drastic move.<P>I wish you the best. Thanks for your replies to me.<P>