It has been 10 days since I found out my husband of 24 years was having an affair with a much younger woman. I think it has been going on for only a few months. He moved out the next day and in with her. 5 days ago he called me and said he had made a mistake and wanted to get back together. I have met with him since, just for lunch and conversation. I don't know if I am ready to have him move back in yet. He is still living with her but says they are just friends now. He wants to move back in, but I have been telling him he should get a place of his own and we should work on our relationship before he moves back in. By the way, we have 2 teenage sons who are horrified by what he did and they don't want him to move back. I'm at a loss as to what to do. I eventually want to get back together but don't know if we should just plunge right in. Any suggestions?

First of all, sorry for your pain. Also, the "we are just friends now" is a bunch of bull.<P>Read the Recovery info on this site, as well as Plan A, ENs, etc., and make sure you are aware of the rules for a successful marriage. If you can't find any of this stuff, post and someone will point you there.<P>The biggest thing will be NO CONTACT with her under any circumstances, forever. That has to be a condition that he must live up to. Otherwise, you cannot begin a proper recovery.<P>Other than that, I'd suggest reading, and also I'd post this on the recovery board, so the folks that are more experienced with this can help you. I'm not one of those, but the no contact thing is something we all know very well.<P>Good luck.<P>(don't mean to sound nasty with the "bull" comment....just that when I read that part, I said out loud "give me a break", because that "friends" thing is so common and almost always untrue - if not always untrue)<p>[This message has been edited by Rick37 (edited June 06, 2001).]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rick37:<BR><B>First of all, sorry for your pain. Also, the "we are just friends now" is a bunch of bull.<P>Read the Recovery info on this site, as well as Plan A, ENs, etc., and make sure you are aware of the rules for a successful marriage. If you can't find any of this stuff, post and someone will point you there.<P>The biggest thing will be NO CONTACT with her under any circumstances, forever. That has to be a condition that he must live up to. Otherwise, you cannot begin a proper recovery.<P>Other than that, I'd suggest reading, and also I'd post this on the recovery board, so the folks that are more experienced with this can help you. I'm not one of those, but the no contact thing is something we all know very well.<P>Good luck.<P>(don't mean to sound nasty with the "bull" comment....just that when I read that part, I said out loud "give me a break", because that "friends" thing is so common and almost always untrue - if not always untrue)<P>[This message has been edited by Rick37 (edited June 06, 2001).]</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Thanks Rick, I thought the just friends was just bull too. He insists that with their schedules they are hardly home at the same time. I guess I will let him move back in, anything to get him away from her.<BR>

<B>I guess I will let him move back in, anything to get him away from her.</B><BR>Be prepared for him to move back out within a week.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Read "Love Must Be Tough" by Dr. James Dobson before you let him back in.<P>please.<P><BR>the former Liz Smith