First time on a website chat line, sorry the circumstances are not better. My H has been unfaithful again and again, doesn't really stay in one relationship too terribly long from what I gather. But he seems to always find women willing to ablige him in his schemes. I have caught him on 2 different occassions and always he says it's not what I think or it's my imagination. He has only been honest once and that was because he was trully caught. Most recently I was contacted by the OW - I'm not sure why, seems that she was either fishing out to find out what I know about her, but she prefaced it with wanting to make peace. I don't believe because I have evidence that she was more to my H than just someone to talk too. Since she is married I feel as though she is trying to protect herself. I just don't know what to do. I have a way of checking up to see if my assumptions are right. I believe my H is still cheating.... do I search my resources to be sure, or do I just leave it to God to work out?<P>Confused?

Well, before you do anything, I'd read up everything you can on this website. Dr. Harley really does talk a lot of sense - IF you really love your husband and are determined to try and make your marriage work. I say 'IF', because it's also damn hard work and most of us are ready to just give up more times than we'd care to mention while we're trying to work through the methods recommended! That's where these boards are so valuable - I really don't know what I would have done without them (be 6' under I suspect), and the people here are wonderful. Then go check your resources...<P>Best of luck, Paint

Welcome, Sorry you are here, but you have come to the right place. God brought me here, you too.<BR>It depends on what you believe about God. I would do my research and begin to work on the MB program, both of you if he is agreeable. Read the basic concepts first and then articles on infedility and husbands. Buy His Needs/Her needs, Surviving and Affair, and Love Busters, all by Willard Harley.<P>Good luck<P> <BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by But God:<BR><B>First time on a website chat line, sorry the circumstances are not better. My H has been unfaithful again and again, doesn't really stay in one relationship too terribly long from what I gather. But he seems to always find women willing to ablige him in his schemes. I have caught him on 2 different occassions and always he says it's not what I think or it's my imagination. He has only been honest once and that was because he was trully caught. Most recently I was contacted by the OW - I'm not sure why, seems that she was either fishing out to find out what I know about her, but she prefaced it with wanting to make peace. I don't believe because I have evidence that she was more to my H than just someone to talk too. Since she is married I feel as though she is trying to protect herself. I just don't know what to do. I have a way of checking up to see if my assumptions are right. I believe my H is still cheating.... do I search my resources to be sure, or do I just leave it to God to work out?<P>Confused?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Thank you for your comments. This is just so hard for me. I'm not even sure my H really wants to change. He doesn't want to take the time to go to counseling or much less read a book or do any type of exercise that could help our marriage. Yet when I ask him if he wants to be married to me or if he is happy he says "I'm okay" what does that mean? We don't talk, he avoids conversation, and is very aloof. He spends alot of time away from home. It seems as if I've been trying to save this marriage alone. Am I the one with the problem for still trying to save a marriage when the other party does really care.