I have always had a problem in dealing with anger - I keep it inside and it just stays with me until the next thing happens. It has not been a good thing for my recovery process with my WH. I walked in on the A exactly 6 weeks ago today. <P>In a way I feel like I should be thankful as my H never wanted to be with the OW and never had any contact with her afterward. (She actually moved to another country shortly afterward.) I feel like I should be rejoicing and well on the way to rebuilding our marriage, but my anger toward him totally stands in the way. I am just SO hurt and angry for what he did to me. He is trying to work on things...we have been seeing a counselor for the past 5 weeks, but I feel like I can't start to heal with all this anger inside. <P>This past weekend we received a phone call that his father died - we live overseas and within 30 minutes we secured a ticket, got him packed and to the airport to put him on a plane home. That was a real turning point for me because although I was holding so much anger inside, I just wanted to be there for him - to support him and show him how much I love him. Strange how death puts perspective on things. <P>He is home now and I am here - 1/2 a world away (literally) and even though I felt so good this past weekend, I feel lousy now. It is just like the anger resurfaces because he isn't here and I am turning into such a horrible person when we talk on the phone - not being supportive or understanding. I know in my mind that he needs to be home and grieve, but in my heart I want him here to work on things. I feel like I am left to deal with everything alone. <P>I guess my question or request is that others share how they overcame their anger toward their spouses.<BR>Thanks ahead of time.

I overcame it by writing it all down in a journal - and I'm still doing that. Also by coming here to vent - which is what you did today, and is a good thing. <P>I have problems keeping my anger in control when I'm actually talking to my husband on the 'phone - so I tend to write him e-mails instead now, so that I can think about what I say before I say it! Is he contactable via e-mail where he is? If so, write him a letter of support and encouragement. If not, then get a sheet of paper and just write and write and write all your anger out on that, then scrunch it up and throw it away. Then take another sheet of paper and write down all the good things about him and about your marriage. Keep that one - then call him.<P>Best wishes, Paint.