I just had to reply to your wonderful post to HurtbyHubby in which you said:<P>"Well, my story might be of some comfort to you both. My husband was running away from his problems when he left me too (twice, once for one day, once for almost 3 weeks). He aso wanted to run away from resposibilty and problems.<BR>Funny thing happened though. He got out there the second time, moved in w/ OW and the EA went PA and as soon as it did it was a huge wake up call for him. He realized what he was doing was wrong. He wasn't any happier, in fact he was miserable because he missed me and the kids. Realized he wasn't getting away from problems he was making a huge mistake and called begging to come back home and a very changed and humbled man.<P>While he was gone I only spoke with him about once a week, usually he called me. When he did I always let him know that I was his wife, he was my husband and we missed him. He would say stuff like he was never coming back, that we were going to be ok, etc, but he told me later that he was just trying to convince himself of all of this to ease his guilt and it didn't work. He heard in my voice how hurt I was and it made him ache and really think.<P>There is hope. There is always hope. Hang in there, but don't hang on so tight you don't give them a chance to hang themselves in the mess they are creating, you know? You will seem clingy and needy if you do."<P>My husband is trying to run away from problems and responsibilities too - but I really latched on to your post because recently the following things have happened:<P>1. Before he left to go on vacation to England, he told me that the situation would probably change in the next 2 or 3 weeks, by which he meant that him and the OW would probably be getting together again. He also said that if they got together, he would do "Everything I can to make the relationship work". I was devastated at first, but the past few days, reading her e-mails to him, I think it might be a good thing after all. Here's why:<P>2. She has made some comments in her e-mails that seem to indicate that she is starting to feel pressurised by him. He is the one doing the chasing at the moment (and obviously has a need to prove himself 'right' after the statement he made to me before he left). She has said things like "I will not be pressurised into making any decisions until I am ready", "I am glad that I will not be talking to him (her husband), or you at least for the weekend. I need some space to think things through", and "I have to decide whether I am prepared to leave the comfort and security I have with (husband) in order to go off into the sunset with you, however tempting it might sound"<P>I'm thinking that the bubble might be starting to wear a bit thinner, but I still think that they will have to get together for it to burst completely. What do you think?<P>love Paint.<P><p>[This message has been edited by Paintbox (edited June 07, 2001).]

What do I think, tough call as to exactly how it will play out but odds are so great that this will never work out. The majority of A's do not. Since they are both married I think the odds are even greater.<P>In my case she was single- and vigourously persuing my H for over a year while he was waffling, so sort ofthe opposite. when they moved in together though he saw her for what she really is a manipulative controlling homewrecker and she did the work of turnig his stomach, has been still to this day actually, she's still playing her games.<P>In your case I'm willing to bet that the OW isn't going to leave her family and when your H figures out he is being used and it's not all the roses he thought it was he'll be back at your feet. Chance are real good, so hang in there.<P>

By the way, I think it's good he's pushing her, sit back, Plan A and say nothing about knowing it's going on.<P>If she's feeling pressured and he's upping the ante the more he pressures her the better for you!<P>

<BR>Found a married woman posting in recovery who's story might give you some insight into the OW for you. Do a search for Scuba2 in recovery.<BR>

Thanks! going to look for it now,<BR>Paint.