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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 170
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 170 |
Okay, especially old-timers and veterans. My H did not leave home after reading plan b letter and I am reluctant to force him out. He has said he will read the Harley's books and we are still going to counseling. I have a phone appt with Steve next Thursday.<P>So I am still officially in Plan A. I would like opinions or descriptions, etc. of what you think a 'pristine' plan A is and what does 'reasonable' time mean? I know it would be different for different couples so I need lots of opinions!<P>------------------<BR>Cali<P>"Humble yourselves, therefore,under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." <P>1 Peter 5:6-7
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 1,244
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 1,244 |
Pristine - best possible, no flaws. No LBs, meet as many ENs as possible, demonstrate as much change as possible, take best care of yourself, be your best.<P>Reasonable time - different for everyone, but I'd suggest at least 2 months, but 3+ to be safe. However, depends on the situation and your tolerance. If you can't stop LBs, then get out sooner.
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060 |
Rick covered the bases.<P>I've used the term "pristine Plan A" as well, and what I was referring to mostly was NO LB's - NADA, NONE, ZIP, ZILCH.<P>"Reasonable time" is a lot bigger target. I personally don't think this can be predicted - you know it when you get there. But, I think Plan B should be considered at the point of separation, if you've adequately demonstrated your Plan A improvements, even if you feel you've got a lot left in your lovebank.<P>WAT
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 1,244
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 1,244 |
WAT mentioned that Plan B should be considered at point of separation. Just for the record, part of me wishes I had implemented Plan B right at this point. My WS lived with me for 5 months, and I did Plan A for at least the last 3.5 of those. I think that a Plan B at that point might have had more impact than now, because now she's had time to slide into a routine on her own.<P>However, given that the A was very deep (the love factor) at that time, perhaps it would have had no impact. You just never know. Steve's advice was keep Plan A, so I did that.
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 170
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 170 |
Okay. I know the theory...I want details, specifics. A description if you will. In my best teacher voice, "Show me, don't tell me..."<P>I want to be 'painted a picture' of what a plan A looks and sounds like...<P>I much appreciate all who want to participate in describing "A Day in Plan A."
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