You'll all be happy to know, I finally took the bull by the horns and I'm in plan B.<P>I told my H the letter was in the mailbox (I can't contact him, just leave him voicemail at school - don't know where he is or phone number) and left for the weekend to go visit family.<P>Don't know if he read it, but I did it anyway. His parents are also leaving him a message letting him know to call them to schedule visitation with the kids. <P>I just hope he accepts the no-contact rule. I also blockaded the doors and told him I changed the locks so hopefully he does not keep trying to take stuff out of the house without discussing it with me (he refuses to give back his keys), the locks are changing on Monday and I'm going to a lawyer Tuesday to get the house put in my name.<P>We'll see. Wish me luck. I feel much better now that I am finally in plan B and can get on with my life and have a plan!<P>I do have a question though. It doesn't matter what I do now that I'm in plan B, right? I can LB and it doesn't matter, right? Not that I'm doing it on purpose, but I'm not going to actively prevent it either (like getting the house in my name or protecting myself financially). If I don't do it, he'll just keep walking all over me!!

I don't know what the 'rules' are about LB'ing in plan B, so can't advise on that one - but it feels good to be in control of the situation doesn't it?<P>Best of luck, Paint.

{{{{{{{HURT}}}}}}}<BR><B>You'll all be happy to know, I finally took the bull by the horns and I'm in plan B. </B><P>Not 'happy,' because I know how much it cost you to go there, but proud of you .<P><B> I do have a question though. It doesn't matter what I do now that I'm in plan B, right? I can LB and it doesn't matter, right? Not that I'm doing it on purpose, but I'm not going to actively prevent it either (like getting the house in my name or protecting myself financially). If I don't do it, he'll just keep walking all over me!!</B><P>I don't know what it says about LB. But if you are having 'no contact' how would you? I know you say you wouldn't do it on purpose (even in plan A, LB's are not on purpose), so use caution. This time is to heal yourself and protect your love for H. I can't imagine that LB's are any better in plan b.<P>

I'd think that love busting for the sake of love busting is not good even in plan B. <P>However, the kinds of things you are talking about... doing what you need to do to protect yourself. Those are not intentional lovebusters. They are a form of self protection. Isn't Plan B about preserving what ever little bit of love is left and about self preservation?<P>I know this was a hard step for you to take. I am proud of you.<P>((((((hug))))))))<P>Z<P><P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

<B>I'm going to a lawyer Tuesday to get the house put in my name</B><BR>If you both own the house, it won’t happen. If it’s a rental, it MAY happen.<P><B>I can LB and it doesn't matter, right?</B><BR>You should NOT LB if you can help it. If you need to do something such as finances, then it is acceptable, but only do what you need to do to protect your interests.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by hurtbyhubby:<BR><B> It doesn't matter what I do now that I'm in plan B, right? I can LB and it doesn't matter, right?<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Hurt, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you are doing this wrong, and you may not get a second chance. If you read Harley's stuff, they make one thing very clear: the road to recovery from an affair is <B>very</B> narrow, and there is no room for error. That is why they developed their plans, to provide a guide to the recovery path.<P>Now, if you choose to follow the path, I would really encourage you to study up on what you are going to do. Understand what each plan is all about, and then commit yourself to following the plan.<P>That said, Plan B does <B>not</B> allow you to LB, or to "do what you want". In fact, Plan B is something you do largely to avoid LBing when you can no longer Plan A... Basically, if you are on the verge of LBing, you go into Plan B. And then you stay out of contact, keep a low profile, and focus on yourself.<P>Please, if you are still trying to save your marriage, read up on the plans, and understand the basic principles behind each one.<P>And above all, avoid what I see as becoming a trend here with others: one week of Plan A, then Plan B, and then second thoughts... Yikes...<P>Good Luck,<P>AGG