Hi again. Iwanted to answer you in a different post as this is off topic of my post. Thanks for telling me some of your story. My H likes to drink with his OW too. Since I don't drink, I guess I can't fill this EN for him. I've been married for 25 years. I think my H is in a mid-life crisis. <BR>I see that you've been married a long time too.<BR>I heard Dr.Phil on Oprah the other day. He said that relationships that come out of A's have less than 5% chance of survival. I also read that 50% of middle-aged men end up back with their wives after their A's. That leaves 45% of them that end the relationship with their OW yet do not go back to their wives. So if plan A is done well, they have more chance of wanting to go to home.You said you sent your H a PLan A letter. Did you only send one? I give my H plan A letters all the time. Maybe you could send him another plan A letter before you send a plan B- to make his memory of you fonder after his A ends. I would think it would be very unlikely their relationship will last with her track record.

Hi Maezy, Who is Dr. Phil?<P>I am reluctant to send more Plan A letters. <P>I have read a book by Homer McDonald called How to Stop that Divorce. In the book, he states that total lack of pressure creates a suction. This makes sense. I have totally backed off and am not fighting the paper divorce.<P>I am minimizing the emotional side of the divorce in hopes that when his A ends (hopefully he won't become her 4th husband), he will see taht I am safe to come home to. however, he will have a long way to go to rebuild trust.<BR>First, there will have to be detox. <P>AT this point, I have absolutely NO HOPE. I expect a divorce and I hope to obtain sole legal/physical custody with restricted visitation based on his alcohol abuse and driving records (two dwi arrests and careless operation of vehicle conviction) and with dwi convictions of ow.<P>I might actually start dating after the divorce. Me date?<BR>Not really what I want to do. <P>It is late. will post tomorrow. elo