They say sometimes an affair can make your marriage stronger?? Please tell me how this happens!!! If H says he really wants to work things out and he is happy with what he has...should I believe him????? PLEASE HELP!!!I cant take much more<BR>Kjn

I just asked this question. See the thread at: <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/009501.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/009501.html</A> <P>Good luck.

Yes, it can make the marriage stronger. IF both of you read and incorporate Dr. Harley's methods, you will not only get beyond the A, you will discover that the rules and fulfillment of Emotional Needs will become the bedrock of a better marriage.<P>But it is one hell of toll to pay to get on that road; too bad most of us don't learn Dr. Harley's lessons until after the fact.<P>Hope you get down the road.<P>Godspeed and good luck,<BR>STL

Absolutely! <P>Learning and reading, from Harley and many other wonderful minds out there, growing, maturing, and working (eventually) together, marriages can get better AND stronger. <P>I can honestly say our love is deeper. We both agree that we are stronger, more a team, more a unit.......not perfect (yet! )........what relationship is??? But, oh, so wonderful now.<P>I can honestly say that I rarely think about PT or the affair (mostly only when I come to these boards and it's not really a painful feeling), I never think of her when I'm in his arms or we're making love. When and if (which is only occasionally now) she attempts contact, I just feel sorry for her or we laugh (she's living w/ someone else now).<P>I don't remember when I posted it, but I remember when it hit me and I wrote it here: I am NOT a BS and Robert is NOT a WS.....we were once, but not anymore!!! It IS possible to get there!<P>Hang in there....it takes a bit of time and work - worth every bit of it!<P>Lori