Okay. D-day April 25. Mother's day-May 13. I very clearly asked for something...even showed him picture. (a mother/child pendant). <P>WH said Happy Mother's day to me in am without even opening his eyes. Children 'fixed' breakfast for me. 7 and 5 yr old made toast (warm bread) and sausage. (very cute.)<BR>I made dessert, potato salad and marinated meat...made his dad barbeque. HE DID JACK!<P>I know for a fact he called OW and wished her a HMD. <P>Yesterday, he told me for Father's Day he would like some new tools for his new tool box......I was non-reactive. Said something like. "hmmm." (Inside, I was seething.)<P>I figured I would get a card for him from boys and help them make him breakfast...but a present?????<P>Help me out folks. By the way, he is really bad at celebrating things FOR ME. (Last year for his 40th, I threw a huge surprise party and got him a CD/radio for hes truck.) My birthday is the 13th (Wed.) and in 15 years together, I have yet to see a cake. Some years I am 'lucky' to get a card...we don't even want to talk about presents. One Valentine's day (14 days after giving birth to son #2), I didn't get anything! Yes, I threw a big fit and he brought me something the next day...but it didn't mean as much you know....<P>AKA 'InShockinCali'<P>------------------<BR>Cali<P><I> Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. </I><BR>1 Peter 5:6-7

Don't sink to his level - give him a great Father's Day. <P>I know how you feel - my WH didn't even acknowledge it was Mother's Day at all. Our girls made me home-made cards and gifts, which was really sweet of them - but they had no help from their Dad at all. So I've been thinking about what I should do for Father's Day too - as he's not living with us anymore, I'm going to keep it very simple. The girls will make home-made cards for him, then I was thinking of a Pot Plant for his apartment from one of them, and a journal from the other (he has told me that he has been keeping a journal for some time, although I suspect that it's on the computer and not handwritten, but maybe he'd appreciate a proper one?)<P>I had thought of inviting him over for a roast dinner as well, but I need to see what happens next week first!<P>Take care, Paint.

I agree with Paint. As tempting as it is to play his game and not get him a present, don't sink to his level. I think Plan A would call for a present, and doing the best you can to show him a nice time and a nice day.<P>It is relatively easy to do, and shows him something about you.<P>

The important thing about Father's day is to teach your children the right thing to do.<P>The way I handle it the my XH and our son, it that I give our son a budget and let him pick out a gift. He spends the day with his dad. If he has money left over he can take his dad out for a coke, hamburger, ice cream, what ever. My XH is not my dad, he is our son's dad. So this day is our son's responsibility.<P>I for one could give a hang about the creep (oh, my, are my emotions showing??? lol) But it is important to me that my son learns the proper way to behave and to respect his dad.<P>Now his dad of course does not reciprocate. I do the same thing, I give my son a budget and he does the same thing with me.<P>Now that I am remarried, my H and I each take the kids out shopping on mothers' or fathers' day for each other, so it is more traditional.<P>I understand how you feel like you don't want to do anything for a man who is not showing you any respect. So let the kids do it. You can just give them a little help.<P>Z<P>

Let's see since d day, valentines, nothing, anniversary nothing, mother's day, nothing. But Father's day I will do something along with my kids for him and will buy him a card from me. I will not sink to his level, I was told to kill him with kindeness, has it changed his mind, no. But he does appreciate all of the things that I do (That I want to do, he does his own laundry). <P>Do what is in your heart!! Go alla out or not, your heart will tell you what to do.<BR>

Thanks for your thoughts. I was leaning in the direction of present anyway. I have always celebrated his stuff the way I would want my celebrated...<P>Maybe I'll make him waffles for breakfast LOL <P><BR>Cali