kam,<BR>I read your post at the thread "are there any HAPPY recovered couples out there?" and it gave me chills. It sounds like my H is going through what your H did...I have not found anyone else with a similar situation.<P>My H has admitted the exact same feelings you described for an OW, the feeling "perfectly matched" and communicating on a "psychic level" and being irresistably drawn to her. In my H's case, this woman does not return the feelings and is in a long-term relationship that she is happy with. My H has also been having panic attacks, has lost about 20 pounds, etc. He is on anti-depressant medication.<P>The complicating factor to our situation is that as my H withdrew from me more and more, and couldn't seem to tell me why or work to improve our marriage, my loneliness and frustration eventually got the best of me and I began an affair (a physical one) of my own. The affair lasted several months and was disovered by my H. We are now dealing with this dual devastation, and it is SO hard.<P>The hardest thing for me is trying to understand exactly what his feelings are for this woman, and where they came from, and how he can feel so much for someone he admits he doesn't even know that well. Even though my affair was "real" I don't have feelings of that kind of intensity for the OM. I honestly love my husband very much and that never changed, even with my A.<P>Your story had so many similarities to mine, I would appreciate any advice or insight you can provide. Please read my previous posts (there aren't too many) for the whole story. I hope to hear from you soon.<P>Thank you,<BR>calla
