Just wanted to say I'm so sorry for you. <P>God Bless and my prayers are with you.

Orchid,<P>I've meant to catch up on your thread for days. Having found the time to do so, I'm so sad that you have even more pain to deal with.<P>The only wisdom I have at the moment is to say to take the time to grieve this loss. There's also a grieving needed for the "loss" of the marriage that we BSs once thought we had, even if we stay married.<P>OTOH, at some point in time, we need to find ways to think of other things or at least take a break, and spend less time dwelling on the grief. Grief is a normal process and needs to be gone through, not avoided. Some things can't be fixed or analyzed away, just felt. OTOH, I still have hope that in time your M may become what you want.<P>Again, I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with all of this.<P>Steve

To all who have posted:<P>Thank you for all your support. Your condolences were greatly appreciated. This has been a rough week. Emotions ran high making this harder to deal with than my last miscarriage last year. I did not think it could get worse. But it did. H & I had major discussions about our future relationship. I could not see continuing with a man who could not commit himself 100% to his family and H agreed yet, no commitment was received. During this time OW called to say that she also miscarried. H informed me at work. I said I felt sorry for the loss. He could not believe it, he thought I would be jumping for joy. How could I? No one should have to go through a loss of life. I asked if she had gone or was going to the doctor. H said no, but he was not sure. I sure hope she did. <P>Anyway, I needed to concentrate on my recovery both physical and emotional. I informed H that my need and that of our son required a family man, father and husband one that would be 100% committed to his family. Anything less would not be acceptable. H agreed but said he was having a hard time. After her initial call about the miscarriage, OW tried calling again today. H knows OW has no reason to continue contact any longer. After a lengthy discussion, I am not the one pushing for our reconciliation. H called OW and told her not to call again. She tried to talk him out of it and told him I was controlling him. He informed here that this was his choice and that his W only wanted her family back in tact and he agreed. <P>So is the A finally over? I would like to think so but only time will tell. Am I staying? I am tired and worn out. This has been a long day for me and H had to go to work. <P>Cautiously waiting.<P>L.

Orchid,<BR>I am so sorry - I am coming on this post so late; I am usually in "recovery". I am so sorry for all that you are going through! You have always been so helpful and supportive and my heart hearts for you! Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers - we all are pulling for you!!<BR>Hugs,<BR>S

<<<<<<<<ORCHID>>>>>>>>>>><P>This is great news, girl!! I understand your hesitation, but this does seem positive.<P>C'mon. Do you honestly believe OW was REALLY pregnant? You know it was just a ploy. SUDDENLY see miscarries, just after you lose your baby, oh ppppllllllease. Give me a break. She is SUCH a con-artist!! She wants to try and get him to give her sympathy instead of you. What a horrible witch!!<P>I hope and pray things will work out for you Orchid and you are finally able to get this parasite out of your life. Good luck. <<<<<<<hugs>>>>>>>

Orchid,<P>I am sorry for your loss... <P>I have to agree that it is highly unlikely that Psychobabble B*tch was actually pregnant. The likelihood of her being pregnant at the same time and to have miscarried at the same time is so incredibly small as to be almost non-existent. She may have made her last mistake this time, though. I hope your husband can stick to his decision.<P>And you ... Orchid, how much do you want your family to be whole again? It is going to be extra hard for you all to be able to do this right now... there are so many losses to deal with between you. Please don't take this the wrong way, I am not saying there is anything "wrong" with you... but please consider talking to the doctor about antidepressants or St. John's wort. I cannot imagine that there are too many losses more hurtful than the ones you have had to experience, and there is nothing wrong with getting a little help to be able to process the grief without losing anything more.<P>Also, I know it is difficult for you to see now, but your husband has taken a couple of pretty big steps by expressing that he wished that the baby the two of you made together had survived and by telling OW very clearly that he has chosen his family. And you may not think so, but I believe that it is very likely that he is grieving the loss of the baby as well... not in the same manner or depth that you are, probably, but his words say that he feels the loss.<P>My thoughts and prayers are with you...<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Orchid}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<BR><P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

Orchid,<P>I noticed you were still here helping out. I hope things are better for you tomorrow. Take care. Good night.<P> -- Jeffers

Orchid<P>I believe that you should concentrate on yourself right now as you suggested. You need to be OK for everything else to fall into place. <P>You take care. You're going to be O.K.<P>Hugs to you.<BR>Maezy

Orchid,<P>As always, you are getting good advice and support here. Just wanted to say hi and check in on you as you have been on my mind a lot. <P>Maybe the good Lord has finally decided that you have had more then you can handle. So maybe your husband has been moved to finally come home to you and his family. You take care of you. Let your husband take care of you if he will be there for you. <P>You are in my prayers,<P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

Orchid,<BR>I just finished reading all of your thread. What a heartbreaking situation. I am sorry about your loss. You are a very strong women and I very much admire your courage. Take Care. MnM

Orchid,<P>I am so so sorry!! I found out about being pregnant yesterday and it is really hard to deal with when everything is so ridiculous. I will keep you in my prayers. Don't listen to him when he says he is going to kill himself-mine has said that for 7 years and it gets really out of hand if you keep letting it get to you. Let me tell you what my C. told me "he'll do it regardless of if you're there or not. You can not make him do anything. You can not make someone happy. You can make yourself happy." If I could I would immediately give you hope and strength. There is hope even if not with him.

I'm slow.. and have only read the updated posts on here since the end of June now. <P>Oh Orchid!! I am so sorry that you are in pain!! No words can describe the pain of losing a child... no matter what the age or gestation. <P>I hope that you are still finding ways to take care of you right now. That's all you can do for the time being.<P>((((((((((( Orchid ))))))))))))<P>Karen<BR>

Another one of those shared pains that many of us have experienced -- I too have had a miscarriage, and there is no pain like it ~ especially the emotional pain.<P>I am so sorry!<P>Crying with you, and still hoping that the icky OW is a lying sack of crap and isn't pregnant at all,<P>Sheryl

Feeling better today. H is home and even though I feel like recovery has been set back by 2 1/2 months, it has a better feel than the last time. So time will tell. <P>I put nothing in concrete and say all is well at this point. What I do know is that (even though it is still unconfirmed - no doctor's confirmation, etc. only OW's word), OW is NOT pregnant. If she was or was not, she claims she miscarried and so she should not be pregnant. Again, this woman has double talked before so nothing from her mouth via H or otherwise can be fully trusted. <P>With that behind me, I truly hope this is the direction/path our family will stay on. If it is great. If not (the pessimist in me), I have been given great tools and experiences (by all of you) to be able to make it. <P>I have learned that my future happiness relys on me and my decisions that we make as a family. If there is a loving husband in that picture, then he is the decision maker that I choose to work with. If not, then I can make those decisions for us. <P>There, my feet are planted and I feel stronger. Thanks again to all of you that have helped me get there. <P>Wishing you all well on your individual roads to personal recovery. <P>Mahalo,<BR>L.<BR>

Hey Orchid, just wanted to say hi and hang in there. Thanks for the info you sent me about old eggs - I'd forgotten all that.<P>Dealing with some tough stuff too and longing for a rest.<P>You're a great person, you know that?

((((Orchid))))<P>Greetings, and Hugs from home <P>------------------<BR>Prayers, Hugs, and Strength from both of us. Things do and can get better. Keep hoping, learning, and growing. Take care of yourself.<P>[H] and Knewjie

Orchid,<P>Hello and ((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))!!!!!!<P>Thinking of you and my cookies that I forgot at home. You are a wonderful cook!!!<P>K

Ack!<P>Now your gonna have to share your cookies with everyone hon <P>Or Orchid, can just bake more for everyone else.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers, Hugs, and Strength from both of us. Things do and can get better. Keep hoping, learning, and growing. Take care of yourself.<P>[H] and Knewjie

You'll be happy to know as Knewjie headed off to work she was armed with Orchid's cookies. No Friday morning is complete without cookies.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers, Hugs, and Strength from both of us. Things do and can get better. Keep hoping, learning, and growing. Take care of yourself.<P>[H] and Knewjie

COOKIES!!!!!!! <P>[H] is right, no Friday morning is complete without cookies! <P>As for sharing, sure I'll share. These are too good not to share! Now Orchid dear, if I share, I want more cookies.<P>My thoughts and prayers are with you.<P>(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((ORCHID))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))<P>K/LostNco/DSN<BR>[H]'s wife