Hi, i am still relatlivly new in here, I poosted my story about a week ago. I am the BS, of a 5 week A that H had when working out of the country. We are doing really well, in fact very well with recovery. I am in therapy, as is he. Right now however, we are yet again seperated due to the demands of his job. I am hadleing the seperation fine most days, however today it is driving me nuts. The odd thing is it is not due to lack of my trust in him. I do and that is not what is in my head, I just feel so BLAH, and i know that if i let the blahs get to me then my mind will wander to the bad places. UGH i am so a happy person by nature, and feeling like i cannot control or function in a day really bugs me. I know it has to do with the A, i refuse to think about it and give it more power than it already had. SO I NEED TO BE SMILING what is wrong with me, why after many good days, does your mind decide to shake up your entire calm???<BR>MAINE<P>------------------<BR>In even the darkest of places there is a capacity to love

I want to say I read a post a little bit back where someone said something to this effect. So whomever wrote whats below here or whatever might want to post the original thought on it. As I'm sure my paragraph is diffrent :P<BR>-----<P>It's all part of the healing process. If your mind shakes it back up, it's because you're still trying to heal, and deal with it. <P>As time goes by, those feelings will come and go, but they will diminish with time. It's natural, and it's from healing.<P>You will have your ups and downs. It will come and go, stay strong, and be positive about things. Check out "Surviving an Affair" I hear it's a absolutely wonderful book.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers, Hugs, and Strength from both of us. Things do and can get better. Keep hoping, learning, and growing. Take care of yourself.<P>[H] and Knewjie

mainemade - I haven't gotten to recovery (yet?), but there is a prevalence of depression among both BSs and WSs throughout the process, especially in the early stages for the BSs. Please consider seeing a doc about this. The antidepression meds can really help.<P>WAT

WAT, I did not mean to give the impression i am in a depressive state, just feeling BLAH today. I have dealt with depression, ( meds do not work for me, i prefered to heal my mind naturally) i just felt the need to vent, i amn the only adult in my home at the moment and these boards are the only source of feedback for me at times. I am fine, i just needed vent my UGH beginning of the day, it better and should get better Thanks <BR>Maine<P>------------------<BR>In even the darkest of places there is a capacity to love

mainemade,<P>I can relate to this one. My H travels about half of the time for his job. He's home on the weekends. This month he is out of town all but the last week. I'm left here to deal with three kids, a full time job and all responsibilities of a home. I find that I don't handle it as well after D-day. Even though we are in recovery, it seems that I am more fragile emotionally these days. I too use this board as my “adult” contact now when he is gone.<P>I've been trying to deal with the "out of town funk" as well. The k<P>Here's a link to the thread about my fighting the "funk". Don't know but maybe it'll help<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/009530-2.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/009530-2.html</A> <P>Z<P><BR>

WELL i have finally shaken away my doldrums. I am in 15 minutes packing up our kids( i do not use words like me and I anymore well i try not to when refering to things of ours) And taking them to our special family spot on a lake near by. Now i would have tried to do the camping and canoeing thing, but come on that is amd will always be H's job to get together, and i cannot imagine getting the canoe ontop of the car lol. Thanks for letting me vent and i will do it again when i have those rare pity me moments. You all have a great great great day.<BR>Maine<P>------------------<BR>In even the darkest of places there is a capacity to love

Hi mainemade,<P>You certainly have a right to vent here. Glad to hear you were able to pull yourself up and out. Those moods come and dump on us quickly. Some even escalate into an anxiety attack that strike at any moment. <P>Please take care. You sound like a strong person but we are all vulnerable and have feelings. I had to give myself a hug this morning (per instructions from another poster) and it worked. Ok, it would be nice if my H could do that for me but he is not here and I needed it real bad (a weak moment for me too.). It helped me heal. After a crying spat and a long posting spat, I am now well enough to walk with the rest of society today. The puffiness in my eyes have gone down and as long as I can keep my shades on, the world will not know the inner pain I feel inside. <P>So keep up the good work on your end. I am happy you and your H are in recovery. We are pulling for you on this side of the country. <P>Take Care,<BR>L.<BR>