Gosh.....too much history to rehash in a simple post. Therefore down to the nitty gritty: My H is incarcerated in a state that is over 1000 miles from home and he is there as a result of his ignorance and his long term EA/PA with the OW. I've suspected his unfaithfullness for a long, long time and have contended with his actions due to being between a "hard place and a rock." Our world came tumbling during the course of his A and reached rock bottom over two years ago when he was imprisoned for for violating bond stipulations insofar as criminal activity was concerned. My H was arrested for DWI which revoked his bond from a prior arrest/conviction of a drug nature. The OW was also a participant in this drug charge. She got off with probation within the residential state whereas my H was charged with interstate commerce and is detained out of state. <P>Despite all the bullcrap that I've been through with him in direct reflection of his drug problems, I love him and am the proud parent of two teenage children that we produced. I resent him not being home to participate in the honorable presentations that have been awarded our gifted children and resent him for the time that he's taken away from me and our offspring. <P>He's extremely remorseful........yet so am I......remorseful for allowing him to be a continued participant in the family when I should have cut his *ss right out of the picture...much to the approval of both sides of the family. I could have easily restricted his legal stance of parental rights had I seeked the opportunity. I did not......for his benefit. He's in no position at this time to make a decison based on the "reality" of past events as to whether or not he'll make up for lost time. He's hopeful and that is all that he has. I do not have the heart of discourage his dreams insofar as his family is concerned. This is the first time in two plus years that his mind hasn't been clouded with the use of drugs. He's actually thinking normally. <P>I love this man and have been married to him for nearly 25 years. We've been together for over 28 yearsl......high school steadies! <P>For all the bulls**t that I've had to endure with him and his "other" life for many years and the repercussions of those years since then.......why do I still miss him and want him home with me? Am I lonely for him or just plain lonely? Can our marriage be repaired under the extreme circumstances that we face? Should I waste more time hoping for a better future? Too many questions.....too little time.<P>Thanks for listening to my ramblings. Just another lost sheep looking for the shepherd........<BR><P>------------------<BR><B>Time heals all wounds as long as you DON'T pick at them!</B>

GL, how long will your husband be incarcerated? That could make a major difference in everything. How he feels, how you feel, etc.<P>You love your husband, just not his addictions and his affair. That is perfectly normal. It sucks, but it is normal.<P>Hang in there.<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I><P>(DARNED TYPOS!)<p>[This message has been edited by terri (edited June 16, 2001).]

GeezLouise<BR>I wonder the same things. My H is not into drugs but has had 2 DUI's and lost his driver's license both times, his job once. When he lost his job the family had to move to another province and start a new life. He has embarrassed me may times when he was drunk. Yet, I still love him and want him to come home. What's with that?<BR>I guess it's the hope that keeps me going. Hope that the good side of him will shine through when this whole damn A is over! If it ever is!<BR>Sorry I'm not much help but you are not alone.