Hello, friends!<P>Well, now 8 months after Dday and well into 6 mos of Plan A, I'm at that stage I'm sure all BS's arrive when they don't know if they should go with Plan B or begin filing for divorce.<P>My story (and sorry to those who may know me from my previous posts): my WS has sabotaged now 4 attempts at recovery by continuing to see OM, despite adamant denials to the contrary. The first occurred during out first three months in counseling (she was caught by her cell phone records). Then, after another couple of months while I was away, she even accepted a marriage proposal from OM (found out by reading her journal). The third time came up after she swore she was "100% committed and would do what ever it takes to make this work" - after that, we did begin sessions for divorce.<P>However, about 6 weeks ago, she asked me to put divorce "on hold" and she was now ready to make the changes she needed to in order to finally make our marriage work. Although reluctant, I agreed. Last week, my suspicions were raised by reading an entry in her mother's travel diary (she's visiting from out of state). After being away this weekend, I returned to find entries about how she has been out with my WS to meet OM each and every day this past week!<P>I've always wanted my marriage to work, but have always doubted my wifes sincerity. I've been in solid plan A for months now (including before and after getting to the stage of divorce).<P>I guess now I'm at the point that I doubt Plan B will work and it's really time to file for divorce (again!). I'm a really serious Christian, so this last step is hard for me.<P>All thoughts and prayers are welcome!

I am assuming that you have not actually gone to Plan B previously?<P>If you don't want a divorce, don't file for one. Go to Plan B. Plan B separates you from the everyday hurts of knowing that your spouse is in an affair. It gives you more opportunity to work on YOU. It gives your spouse a taste of what divorce will be like, and forces her to seek to have ALL of her emotional needs met by the OM... which generally is not possible. And, if your marriage is truly beyond recovery (which certainly does not SOUND like the case for you), Plan B allows you to lose your love for your spouse gradually without continued pain and anger.<P>You have nothing to lose by going to Plan B instead of divorce, and you have everything to gain. Your choice.<BR><P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>