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#920473 06/18/01 09:58 AM
Joined: Oct 2000
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Well, my DWH was telling me he wasn't getting back here to TX till late Sun night but I was very sure he was already here. He thought my parents were visiting so he was staying away till they left. But Sat morning I called the OW, asked to speak to DWH, said thought you were in Sing, he goes your parents are here, told him if he read my emails he know they weren't, then I was nice & ask if he would like to see his sons on Father's Day.<P>Well we told the boys we would not be returning to Sing & that we would no longer live together when YS relaized that they meant divorce he cried.<P>DWH wants the boys but mostly YS to spend time with him &OW. I told him to wait till after we are divorce to let them meet her, he says no way, then he goes I am not giving up having YS spend the night, I say no way till they are married, he goes we could sleep in seperate rooms. You would have to know my H to know how really crazy this is for him.<P>I did tell H that just because he quit did not mean that we have to divorce, that we could go anywhere to start over but once we tell the boys it is over. so it is over.<P>I think I am going to file. I have to admit that I would like to see adultery on the decree. If we had not gone to Singapore I would had done Plan B last yr but we didn't & now I just want out.<P>I now have to find a job, place to live, etc. I can't even open a bank account without an address.<P>I'll be back in a few days. I hope DWH had one of the computers air fighter back, but then I might not get it either.<P>Prayers for all of you.<P>Sing

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<B>sing</B>,<P>Cyber hugs and prayers. I hope you're getting some good legal advice.<P>I can't think of much else to say at the moment.<P>Take care,<P>Steve

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Dear Sing,<P>I am so sorry your H has taken the wimpy way out and even treated your sons with contempt by lying to his family. He will have to live with that thought and I feel your sons will see that as well. <P>Just because a 'father' wants to see his sons doesn't mean that the sons will want to continue seeing their father now that this horrible 2nd life is exposed and out for all to know. You will need to step back and let your sons really show their dad how they feel. Some of it may hurt you to but H needs to bear the brunt of it all. Kids are resilient, they will hurt. Often they know how to recover and handle the pain. Then when they choose, kids have that knack of directing that pain with a few choice words to hit the target (H's heart). I hope you can be prepared for that and pray that you and your sons have the strength to endure. <P>Sing, I have composed a letter to your H. I can not post it here for fear it may cause you problems. I just felt the need to write out how I felt about the pain he is causing you. <P>You let me know if you want to see it. Otherwise, please take care of yourself and the boys. <P>L.<BR>

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Hello beautiful sing,<P>Well... sigh... it seems like this is it... and right now, you have time on your side... he will, unfortunately, dig his own grave with his sons. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Do you have a lawyer yet? Maybe time to talk to someone, just for protection for you and your sons.<P>I'll keep lookin' for you, sing, so keep on posting, okay?<P>Hugs, dear one, <P>Sheryl

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Oh sing...I don't know what to say. For now, I'll just sent you a cyber hug.<P>((((Sing))))

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Hey, Thanks for all the support.<P>The boys & I are going to be okay. MY OS is excited about going to a brand new school. This it will only go thru the 11th grade & he will be part of the 1st graduating class in 2003. We think we may have found a house to rent, the only good qualities right school zone & a pool, hopefull my credit rating is no too messed up. Had lots of problems mailing things back from Sing.<P>OS is sad that he can't tell his friends good bye in Sing, YS is just happy to be with his best friend, they will go to different schools, but same neighborhood.<P>But the retainer down with the lawyer yesterday, still tying to decide if I will file before H can.<P>He told YS he see him today, but never haerd from him, so do I have to sit around all day waiting for him to call or do we just go do our thing.<P>Now to find a job, talked to one district if I get enrolled for 6 hrs, they might send me to talk to the princpal that would do the hiring, they were very nice.<P>If I can housing settled, school, & the prospects for a job down, I can relax.<P>I know this is not MB ideals but I am glad it is over. For anyone new who might be reading this, I do believe that you can heal marriages but mine is one that cannot be done. I have been at this for 2 yrs plus, & I am worn out, it is time for me & my sons to move on.<P>Peace & happiness to all.<P>sing

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First I would like to say that I am sorry for what you are going through right now. Second, good luck with your job hunt. You will feel so much better when you have that behind you. And third, you should be commended for holding in there for two years. No one will ever be able to say that you did not give it all you got. You can walk away with your head held high and know that we are very proud of you. <P>In the end, you are a much stronger person and he is the one who is losing.<P>Hang in there and keep smiling. Lots of hugs.<BR>SF


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