I was trying to search under your other names to find out more about you story, but I could not find much that had not been deleted. I was wondering if I could ask you some questions.<P>As far as you know how long did your H's affair last?<BR>How long did you suspect before he admitted?<BR>Was he living at home when you found out for sure?<BR>How long was he gone?<BR>Did you have a chance to utilize plan a?<BR>Did you stick to plan b while he was gone?<BR>How did you get through the time when you did not talk?<P>I have talked to [H] and he suggested that you may have a better grasp on the timeframes. <P>Thanks for any answers you can offer. I am just trying to get some background to compare to my situation. I have been in Plan B for a month now and he called two weeks ago to yell at me. I have not heard from him since. I would love to have the chance you have now. Best of luck with recovery.<P>SF

SinkingFast,<P>I am swamped with deadlines today at work but I wanted to let you know I saw this post. I'll try to respond while on lunch if not I will respond tonight.<P>Hang in there SF. If there is even a little glimmer of hope, hold on to it and don't let go.<P>K/LostNco/DSN<BR>[H]/Aeon Blue's wife

Thanks!!!!!!! I look forward to hearing from you.

SinkingFast,<P>I want to warn you I'm writing this on my lunch hour and it's really hectic today so if any of this doesn't make sense just let me know.<P><B>As far as you know how long did your H's affair last?</B><P>Lets see. It started emotionally about March 9th. It became physical March 20th after [H] called me and told me he wanted a D. The A ended June 7th. H sent a no contact letter but as you have read IT (OW) did NOT get it. <P><B>How long did you suspect before he admitted?</B><P>March 20th when he called and said he wanted a D. IT was comfirmed by FIL on March 25th. D-Day was April 10th. OH WOW! I just realized D-Day anniversary came and went and I didn't even notice!!!! <P><B>Was he living at home when you found out for sure?</B><P>Yep. He moved out April 16th for the last time.<P><B>How long was he gone?</B><P>April 16th until now. I am flying out soon to California to drive back with him. <P><B>Did you have a chance to utilize plan a?</B><P>Plan A was my middle name the majority of the time. I did LB some but hey, I'm human and I was hurting.<P><B>Did you stick to plan b while he was gone?</B><P>I never went to a "formal" Plan B. H put us into Plan B all on his own. I never initiated contact with H except for the times he requested information. Like did you get the check I mailed to you. Other than that I never initiated contact. <P>I was going to go to a formal Plan B right before the poop hit the fan on June 1st. This is NOT recommended by MB but I called IT's husband and told him what was going on. I KNEW that it was going to ROYALLY piss of H and IT but I did not care. IT's H had the right to know. I knew darned well what I was doing and what effect it would and could possible have. What I was NOT prepared for was that H attempted to make me think I was COMPLETLY insane and that I had made the A and all of this up. I believed him for about 15 minutes. That was going to be the final contact between us period. At the end of that call I told H (insert EVERY cuss word known to man) I NEVER want to talk to you again, don't call, (more cuss words) and F YOU! <P>I called my lawyer the following day, Saturday and told him I was ready to file. I filed the following Tuesday. The last call with H was the FINAL straw. I posted on Wednesday on the D/D board that I had filed. As you know now, H and I have reconcilied and are in recovery. <P><B>How did you get through the time when you did not talk?</B><P>I'll try to sum this one up because I'm running out of time, but I will come back tonight and add more.<P>I read EVERYTHING I could on MB and I have quite the collection of books. I did things for ME. I cried when I needed to. Laugh, SF, you HAVE to laugh. Counseling, meds, great friends, MB, our 3 monsters (2 boy cats and 1 female kitten). I moved on with my life but still held hope that we would be together again. H ALWAYS left me with a little glimmer of hope when we talked, emailed or saw eachother. Well except for the last conversation before I filed, but that was to be expected.<P><BR>I hope answers your questions SF. I also hope it makes sense. Hang in there and hold on to that glimmer, never let go my friend.<P>((((((((((SINKINGFAST)))))))))<P>My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband. Stay strong!<P>K/LostNco/DSN<BR>[H]/Aeon Blue's wife <P><BR>

My H leaves me little reason to hope. I don't know if I could see a glimmer if i squinted real hard. <P>I just had lunch with a friend whose mom works with OW. I guess H went to a work picnic with OW a few weeks ago. He was fired from that place when the A's came out in the open. (There were three OW at the same job and two of them were subordinates.) <P>His A with the current OW has been going on for almost two years. The other two were during the affair with the current OW. Those each lasted about two - three months. Current OW does not fully trust my H (why would she) but she still wants him. Her D will be final 7/27/01. Her H is very happy to be getting out of the marriage. <P>My H called two weeks ago today and told me that he was going to file for D. I have been expecting papers since that day. I am not sure if he will go through with it, but I have a feeling that she will push him even if he is not ready. So, I wait. What else can I do?<P>I want my H back and I want to work things out with him. I know that we can build a stronger relationship together, but I can not do it alone. Your H told me in an earlier post that he believes that affairs will and do end, but I just keep wondering what if this one is the exception.<P>The only hope I have right now is that their relationship is built on lies and hurt and that is nothing to build a relationship on. Surely it is destined to fail. And surely he will remember the love that I have for him and the time that we had together. That is my glimmer.<P>Thank you so much for your response. And best wishes to you and [H].<P>SF

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B><BR>My H called two weeks ago today and told me that he was going to file for D. I have been expecting papers since that day<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I actually had the papers for divorce. I just never filled them out. I was always to busy, or some other excuse. Deep down I knew I didn't want to fill them out or file.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B><BR>Your H told me in an earlier post that he believes that affairs will and do end, but I just keep wondering what if this one is the exception.<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>The (OW) in your case is distrusting of your husband. I'm sure he's the same towards her. So how are they going to move past that? How can they build some sort of trusting relationship on that? Doomed to fail...<P>------------------<BR>Prayers, Hugs, and Strength from both of us. Things do and can get better. Keep hoping, learning, and growing. Take care of yourself.<P>[H] and Knewjie