When I found out about the a I took of my ring and still can not put it back on. He told me that he has never given up on our marriage. How can you have an a and not give up on your marriage? Here he is running around with women and but he did not give up on the marriage. I sounds crazy to me.

My H lives with OW and still wears his wedding ring(at least when he comes over here).<P>I know that even though he doesn't live with me he hasn't given up on us. He is addicted to her.<P>This is frustrating, but very complicated too.Is he in a mid-life crisis or just a philanderer?

His love for you is still there - but it has gotten overwhelmed by this 'infatuation' with the other woman. It's like an addiction - and as hard to get over. I took my wedding ring off a few times, in the early stages after d-day - but I felt so 'lost' without it, that I soon put it back on - for myself AND as a sign that I was still committed to our marriage. Take some time out to think things over - decide what you really want to do and where you want your relationship to go. It sounds like you still have a lot of anger, bitterness and resentment inside you - and only you can sort that out. These feelings are quite natural, and normal - but you need to recognise them and take control of them, don't let them control you. The reason being that they are very negative emotions and can start being detrimental to both your physical and mental health. Find ways of working towards building up the forgiveness, love and grace in your heart instead, whatever happens with your husband, these are so much more positive emotions to have inside you!<P>Good Luck, Paint.

Read "Surviving an affair" might help explain whats going.<BR>Also, "His needs her needs" currently reading that myself.<P>Don't think this sounds as crazy as you may think. It sounds very typical and standard of (WS) I did this as well.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers, Hugs, and Strength from both of us. Things do and can get better. Keep hoping, learning, and growing. Take care of yourself.<P>[H] and Knewjie<p>[This message has been edited by [H] (edited June 21, 2001).]

Thank you<P>It has been a year in a half and I still do not know where my head is at.