Went to court yesterday. OW standing starring outside the wall of glass, standing sideways, rubbing her stomach. OMG pregnant????? <P>I can't believe H brought OW to court and his two children. They looked like the Beverly Hillbilly's. Jed and the Clampet's. OW had a black tight short clinging knit dress, sleeveless cut back from the shoulders, big colorful tattoo on back of her shoulder, and a blue chain tattoo around her neck, white ankle socks and tennis shoes, looked like trash. Each to their own, but H was personally against tattoos. Lovely appearance for court. Children, one with shorts, other with jeans. H in baggy jeans, T-shirt, tennis shoes. H looked so shabby, hair and beard looked shaggy, unhealthy, lost a lot of weight. Doesn't she cook or feed the poor man? Friends with me said they had never seen him look so bad, wore down and that he never looked like that when he was with you. Guess it doesn't matter with OW, I don't think he feels good about himself. I felt so sorry for him, I wanted to give him a hug. <P>OW is so arrogant....it's sick, just displays her stupidity. Thank God, it was same women Judge I had before, when I went to court for Order of Protection on OW, that found OW guilty. The Judge made eye contact with me first thing when she walked up to the bench. I know she remembered me, I'm sure she knows OW too, she's been before her twice that I know of. I can imagine what the Judge was thinking as she looked at them, OW over there laughing, giggling and acting like a fool. OW carrying on with his children, so immature, like school kids making fun of things and snickering....sick, grow up. Lovely influence on his children. I bet the Judge thought, this man has some nerve bringing OW into court with his wife, much less dragging his children into this...how low he has sunk. <P>I know H didn't want any children, his are teenagers. H has a hard time coping with kids, even his own. H was very adamant that he wanted NO more children, because we had talked about it many times, he couldn't deal with it. If OW is she probably did it on purpose to sink her claws in deeper. I pity a child that would have OW as a mother....God forbid. She had no children up to now. This may have been a ploy for my benefit, her just pushing her stomach out???? When she got up other times, she didn't appear to be as pouched out. So I don't know if she really is, she is evil enough to portray anything. <P>H is lying about everything, it's unreal. He is cornered and desperate. The more he lies the deeper it gets, I can't believe him. I think he got himself into more than he bargained for and feels he has no way out, trapped. He didn't look very happy to me. <P>I know the Judge perceived the truth. She came right down on him, before he had a chance to say anything. H had told me he was going to make me pay the costs he incurred. The Judge told him he wasn't entitled to anything. When H tried to tell her, but his lawyer had told him, she asked him where his lawyer was, he said he couldn't make it. Oops, doesn't work that way, I'm sure the Judge saw right through this also. Actually, H has court again next week, his attorney is suing him because he refused to pay. So I doubt he is still representing him. Wouldn't it be ironic if he gets the same Judge? It's a good possibility. So H lost round one. I'm sure his lose the hearing with the lawyer also. <P>I feel so sorry for him, he's in bad shape and so messed up. We went into another room, sitting shoulder to shoulder. Made eye contact and I just felt like I could see the pain in his eyes. We were so wrapped up in the mess, the only discussion was the issues. I felt later I should have said something, but I didn't. What's the use? I thought later I wanted to say, why are you doing this, I still love you and care. Why are you destroying us both, we could have had something so different? I was so hung up in the confusion at the time, I couldn't think, except about the conflict and how sad and sorry I felt for him. It probably wouldn't have made a difference. OW didn't like him and I together at all, she was left in the court room, but came out to be nosy, sure the Judge picked up on that too. <P>They are all telling such unreal lies, even his ex, that had wrote a letter, full of lies. I only took care of her children for 6 years, and watched them over the summers when they had no one. Took them to doctor's appointments, because she wouldn't. The letter was not presented in court, but H did give me copies, unbelievable. <P>It's just so hard to believe that his love has turned to HATE. <P>Vent, vent, vent. <P>

I don't have much to say today....too sad to even vent....<BR>but [[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[Hurtwife]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]].<P>Hugs and more hugs to you.<P>Cali

Hurtwife, I'm glad he got nothing, I knew he wouldn't. The Beverly Hillbillies sounds like exactly the mentality you are dealing with here. You know you're a redneck when......<P>Anyhow, she might be pregnant, if so I guess that would explain why H has felt an obligation to stay with this trash. But if he didn't want kids and she did it on purpose to entrap him, there is a recipe for disaster right there. <P>It's also just as likely that she just wanted to freak you out and got a kick out of your reaction. I know people like that, and it would fit. At this point what can you do but continue on the course he has set? I'm glad you had a victory in court at least, that must've felt good.<P>

This OW sounds like a nightmare - I don't know how you cope! You must have a great strength and goodness in your heart, and that put's you WAY ahead of her. I think she has some hard lessons to learn later on in her life, while you will be reaping the rewards you deserve!<P>Hang in there!<BR>hugs, Paint.

HurtWife,<P>Sounds like it was a rough court date. What a picture you paint of the OW.. What a freak... (Oh that was not nice was it?) lol<P>About the possible pregancy. It reminds me of something I did when I as in 10th grade. We had a neighbor lady who apparently had no life of her own. My three sisters and I were all teens at the time so as you can imagine we had a stream of young men coming to visit our home. Well, this lady told everyone that I a loose girl and had gotten pregnant. I was livid that anyone would think that of me much less say it. But I've always had something of a rebel streak in me too. Sooooo<P>For several days I started walking in front of her house with my stomach blown out as far as I could (and that was pretty far). I put on quite a show by holding my lower back and rubbing my tummy. She went crazy.. .she wanted that pregant hussy out of the neighborhood. Of course my other neighbors new me well enough to know I was pulling one over on the old bitty. Eventually she realized it too. It was the last time she dared gossip about me and my sisters. LOL<P>But I was in the 10th grade and not doing it to hurt someone. I do hope she was just trying to mess with your head. That they are not bringing any other children into this mess.<P>Oh, by the way, what does it matter is you watched his kids or not to the courts? It's not your responsibility even if you were married to him. If you did so much as took them to the movie it was over and beyond your call of duty. (Now realize that I saying this but I assume full parental responsibilities for by two step children just because that's how am I. I love them. But I also know that it is not my responsibility.) It is curious to me that he would have even felt a need for such hurtful letter.<P>You hang in there.<P>(((((((hug))))))<P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

Cali:<BR>Thanks for the hugs. It's ALL so crazy, but I do believe and I have told H many times....what you put out comes back to you. I also had told him he had better get ready, because he sure has been dishing it out. Looks like it's coming back.<P>Take care.

ScaredInNY:<P>Your right the mentality is extremely LOW. I don't know that H feels obligated, I would say it is more like stuck and trapped. I feel he has no one else, so he is hanging onto IT. H had no support from his family and I imagine that has gotten worse, because of his actions. I'm sure they vastly disapprove. No friends, I was his support system. Now that he is relying on the TRASH for consultation and advice...he's really sinking. She appears to be a sociopath. <P>"Recipe for disaster" you got that right, sad but true. Of course this is the path he has chosen....and she is leading him straight to H*LL.<P>Thanks and Take Care. <P>

Paintbox:<P>It is definitely a nightmare..for sure. Believe me it's hard to cope. I have no choice. No doubt OW is low and had a real problem in her head. I don't think she is even capable of learning, no matter how hard the lesson. OW has an real attitude that she can do whatever she wants. Guess what....it doesn't work that way. Sooner or later, if not already, this will hit both of them right in the face. Some people never learn. They think they are immune....oops wrong answer. <P>I'm hanging in....thanks for hugs.<BR>((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))<BR>

zorweb:<P>FREAK....LOL...your right on. I had to paint the picture of OW, so you could get the real drift. <P>Yes, they are bad news for his children, they have already and continue to make a mess of them. Surely they don't need another one to screw up. I couldn't even imagine, another child would be condemned to have parents like this. <P>I guess I left out the point I was trying to make about the letter from ex. She said she hadn't talked to me in all the years and I had called her to tell her my problems. Not true....lies. This is why I wrote about taking care of the children. H & ex could not communicate without conflict. Therefore, I became the go between and talked to her about issues. Ex said I called her children and upset them talking about their father...another lie. I talked to them to say "Hi" and see how they were. The daughter brought up issues, apparently H had expressed to her, which she was upset about. This was very poor judgment on H's behalf involving and upsetting his children. You see he is trying to cover his B*tt, by telling them if something happens to him, for his actions (closing his business, jail) he is telling them that I'm responsible. I had told H I couldn't believe he had done this to his children. If he didn't do anything wrong...he would have nothing to worry about. If he did, suffer the consequences. See H has got to put the blame on someone else, unfortunately that's me. H will not except the responsibility for what he has done. Therefore, trying to make me be the bad guy, and portraying himself as the victim....another LIE. <P>I did take care and knew those children for about 6 years. I spent more time with them than their own father did and only looked out for their better interest. Now they are lying and making it sound like I was the evil step-mother. <P>Ex had also called me pertaining to some items the children wanted. I told her I would pack them, call to make sure someone was home, and deliver them, she agreed to that arrangement. When I called to deliver the items, the D answered, asked "Who's this" when I said it was me...she slammed the phone in my ear, I tried. Now her letter says I refused to give them the items. There were other things written...that were lies...I guess it's runs in the family (a disfunctional family). I do feel so sorry for the children....their parents are NOT good role models. Their actions are proof, they do not teach their children morals, ethics, manners, no integrity...this will follow them throughout their lives. But I tried. I always feel for the children that have to suffer because of their parents selfish wants. I did love these children, but their parents have turned this relationship into what appears to be now a hate towards me. This was never my intentions. Their parents cannot see past themselves and that they are only doing these children more harm. <P>I also took responsibility for his children, more so even than H. H pushed it off on me to correct them because he felt guilty for not being with them more. The limited time spent happens when there is a divorce and was beyond his control. H didn't want to be the bad guy. To me this was not being the bad guy, but being a parent, to teach and guide his children in preparation for their future lives. I find it inappropriate behavior to yell calling your father a "LIAR" or tell your father to "SHUT UP". H would mostly let these things slide. Now what is this teaching a child? I tried to let him handle these situations, but if he wouldn't I would step in. I never raised my voice to them, always being what I thought was fair. Sometimes I'd spend most of my weekends talking to the D, trying to explain and get across. H lacked authority.<P>"It is curious to me that he would have even felt a need for such hurtful letter." <P>This surprised me, but than again H has been very hateful in his actions and verbally abusive towards me. This is not the way EX came across to me when I had talked to her. I think D had a lot to do with it. It seems like H will do anything in anyway he can. I've been feeling sorry for him and giving him the benefit of the doubt. No longer, I have to stand up for myself and my rights. H has walked over me enough. I hate that it has come to this...but it is his choice.<P>Thanks much for your reply and hugs. <BR>(((((((((((( hugs))))))))))))) <P>

oops