tomorrow nolo contendre and i are going on our first date.<BR>we have done things together with the kids, and things have been going pretty well, i can't complain too much. but tomorrow is our first real date (alone) since the affair.<BR>i am very excited, but i don't know if he is or not. he says he is, but he hasn't talked about it very much.<BR>when the whole affair was exposed, he said he wanted more attention and affection and trust and respect, everything.<BR>i agreed that was lacking in the marriage. but i sometimes feel that i am trying too hard and he thinks things are back to normal so we can go back to the rut we called a marriage. i am still very hurt. for the most part, i think i am happy, but the feeling are still there. every 2-3 days, i go through a depression, and feel horrible. i'm very afraid if i say something, we will start fighting, and he may leave, and i don't want that. is it normal to be so happy one second and then turn around and be so unhappy and scared the next? i really am trying to make things work. i love nolo contendre so much that i wish these feeling would go away. <P><BR>but, today is a pretty good day. he is at work, and i work one more day, then have a week off. i hope we go camping this weekend, maybe some time in the outdoors will refresh our minds and souls and love.<BR>thanks for all who listen. and i pray for all of those marriages in trouble. love and marriage can be restored.<BR>
