Did not post here for a while, after reading some recent post, I am glade for those of you made progresses and best wish for those still try to fight the devil.<P>I am doing OK. My WH went to see a attorney last Tue. (second appointment) and I only been told afterwards. But he did not file for a D that day, instead I feel his fog lift a bit after that. I guess he had a reality check when he went that day - how close he is going to lose every thing for the OW and how much trouble he have to go through to get a D. The next day, he went to work and told the OW that - at this point of his life , he doesn’t know which path he is going to take ( he told her that he is going to divorce me since the D-day). He start to show some genuine affection to me and does not spend time with the OW after work, not even lunch together.<P>3 ½ months of Plan-A works good for me, for those still trying, keep up the good work.<BR>I will like some in put on what should I do next. I try to tell my WH that we should be honest to each other if we want a chance in our marriage. AND HE DID JUST THAT TODAY by telling me he is going out to lunch with the OW and a male friend over the phone (even I sent him a lunch with him to work). I am hurt, but I also thanks him for being honest to me. Deep down I am so worried. <P>What should I do to avoid he be dragged into the fog deeper? I can see they go out once if I did not say any thing then there will soon be the second time and third time...., and then he will be so confused again. I know the only thing will help us go forward at this point might be the No-Contact letter, but I know he is not ready for that yet! It is always a tough situation that the WS and OP are coworkers. Should I let him know that I am not happy by what he did today( and he might not tell me about it next time)? or should I just keep Aing( so he will assume it is OK to do so)? Feel I just want to avid him when he gets home, any other way I will LB big time. Any input , please. I am really confused!

Trying,<P>This is just my opinion, but I would just mention to him that it made you uneasy that he had lunch with her. While I was in my A, I would tell my H that I was going to see the OM and I always waited for him to tell me not to see him. He never told me that so I figured he didn't care.<BR>I'm not saying things would have changed for me, but I might have looked at things differently if I felt he cared enough to tell me I didn't really like that I was seeing him. <BR>Since you want him to be open and honest, you should be honest too, but in a loving manner and let him know.<BR>But that is just my thoughts.<BR>DLM

I think if he is being honest about the lunch (which is SO great he's honest) you can be honest, without LB'ing about your feelings. You can tell him that its something you don't like, that it hurts and of course you would rather he did not have lunch with her but thank him for his honesty about it. Hey - at least it is with a third party. I suppose that is a positive. Keep looking for those positives as small as they may be.

Thanks for your reply dlm & Alberta,<BR>I will try to let him know that I do not like it in a gental way. He did tell me over the phone that it is just a lunch (innocent, uh?)and nothing romantic about it, but the whole A started from a innocent friendship and became "not so innocent"(according to my WH).<BR>I think in WS's language "innocent"="fishy". I hate it.<P>And abut the 3rd party, he is a kind like a smoke screen between my WH and OW. He knows about the whole situation because he also has a very innocent close friendship with that W(he is replaceing the role my H used to take in the OW's life) and I just wonder who long it takes them to become "not so innocent". What a joke!!