I am still not sure how many steps I took backwards last night. Yesterday when I asked my W if she wanted to go swimming with me and the kids, she said she had to clean her friend's closet (she and the kids are moving in with a friend of hers). Last night when I picked up the kids, I told her that that our youngest would call her before bedtime. My W then told me to call her on her cell phone and not either of the two house phones (her friend's or the old rental house) because she was going back and forth between the rental house and her friend's house. I told her that I thought she was cleaning the closet, but she said she was afraid of it (I've seen it - it would make you sick). Something didn't seem quite right. Our oldest wasn't home yet, so my W told me that she would bring him over to my apartment as soon as he got home. She called me at 6:30 and said that he just got home and still needed to shower. I suggested that he stay and help her and that just he and I would go do something on Friday. She almost yelled, "NO". Then I said (and this is where I blew it), "what are you really doing tonight." She of course wanted to know what I meant. I told her that between missing the counseling, not answering any of the phones the night before, and then her reaction just now makes me wonder. Then all hell broke loose. She said, "I thought we were making progress, but now I don't know." I won't go into the whole conversation. <P>I think it was pretty obvious that OM was in town and has been here since Sunday. I just plain screwed up. I know I shouldn't have done it. It was like something came over me and couldn't not ask the question. Oh well, I guess now we'll see if she really wanted to reconcile or not. If she did, then she'll get over it. If she didn't, then she'll use it as an excuse. Time will tell.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by sadandconfused (edited June 21, 2001).]

s&c - yep, you screwed up, but you certainly were justified in your suspicion. Her reaction was so, so typical when they're guilty.<P>Hey, it will pass. The success or failure of your efforts will not turn on a single issue like this. Chalk it up and practice biting your tongue. We've all been there.<P>WAT

Don't beat yourself up over it. We all need to blow up now and then.<P>I know I need to blow up at my H but I haven't yet... Not sure why, I know it's a coming one of these days.<P>You're right, time will tell. I don't think that one episode will make or break your reconciliation, so don't fret over it.

S&C, try not to beat yourself up too much over this. Your reaction, IMHO, is normal considering the circumstances. You're entitled to get upset once in a while.<P>An observation, though - if her idea of "making progress" means that she can do whatever she wants (including seeing the OM), then she's still deep in the fog.<P>Hang in there!<BR>

S&C.....you had a normal reaction to a suspicion that was probably "right on the money." I, too, would have blurted out the obvious had I been in your shoes.<P>Unfortunately....that's a no-no :-Þ Live and learn, ya' know! Despite your utterance, her "shield" came into play. Therefore, you know that your suspicions were justified. Ah.....the games people play now.....every night and every day now.....BTW, who sang that oldie but goodie?<P>Hang in there S&C.....it'll all work out in due time.<P>------------------<BR><B>Time heals all wounds as long as you DON'T pick at them!</B>

S&C,<P>Been there done that. Put it behind you and know that this one thing isn't the determining factor. Your suspicions are highly likely to be true. This behavior you are seeing is right from the affair/alien script. We've all heard it, and will hear it again.<P>Hang in there, and just get back on track and forget about this one.