Hi everyone,<P>Today the OW got nosey and decided to see where I went online at the store today. I had been posting messages from work here, but didn't delete my history. Since she's been working there, she has ALWAYS deleted EVERYTHING..although she never rememebers to delete the navigation bar in the find files/folders section. <P>Anyway, she read my posts and how happy I am that she was quitting and looking for another job. She got mad, left work and went to tell her H about the affair. WHY I don't know, maybe her conscious finally got to her. After 2 years, it's about time that it did. Now of course I'm the bad person because of what all I've been saying. Remember that I've had to be civil to her because we saw each other socially and her H didn't know of the affair.<P>Now her H has a lot of questions about the A that I discovered 2 years ago. MY question is, should I tell him all that I know, or tell him to ask his wife, which is what I've done for the most part? He's been calling confirming details, I have ALL of the proof on disk, and of course my H says not to give it to him. I agree, why make a bad situation worse by letting him read all the "sweet" *GAG* intimiate details of their conversations?<P>BUT...I am feeling SO much better now, her H was understandably hurt by my keeping the A to myself...for numerous reasons, which I've told him. He was considered a friend of mine, I didn't consider his wife a friend though, just someone I tolerated for my H's sake. <P>BUT....I AM SO GLAD THERE ARE NO MORE SECRETS!!!!! Maybe we can all get on with our lives now. *great big sigh of relief*<P>Cyn

Cyn,<BR>I personally commend you for being able to put up with OW daily for 2 years...i personally wouldnt have handled a day.<BR>however i understand the reasons for keeping her there lawsuits etc.<BR>just wanted to say thanks for the bump and tel lyou how couragous i think you are<BR>Love,<BR>LUV

Does this mean that she is never coming back to work? Oh I hope not.<P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

This has got to be a relief for you.<P>My guess as to why she ran to tell hubby is that she figured that once she left there would be no reason for you not to tell him so she better do it first. Makes sense to me.<P>As for showing him stuff and answering questions... If he is asking you, why the heck not?! He deserves to know as much as you do. I wouldn't have if he hadn't asked but if he wants it and asked for it- I say he has a right to it. Just my opinion.<P>If she is just telling him because she wants to beat you to the punch then it seems unlikely she is being honest fully. He has a right to know, and now the door is open. why not? It could actually become another release point for you to have someone to talk to about all this if he is a friend. Am I off base thinking that?<P>

The Harleys dont reccommend alot of contact between betrayed spouse. They are OK with informing the spouse sometimes and with giving them the suggstions for working on their marrige with the Plan for ending affairs and rebuilding.<P>But I dont think its good to get too involved with the OP marrige. You should focus on your own and not put yourself in theirs.<BR>Lora

I agree, if that you have it all on disk, you should give him a copy, but add to that, a post it note with the MB website.<P>We all know that the truth hurts, but at the same time, I have found that it's much easier to deal with if you get it all at once. Besides, if you give him a copy of the disk, and that is the only real proof you have, then he wouldn't need to continue contacting you with questions, right?<P>This may sound harsh, but even though your H doesn't feel it's right for you to share that info, was it right for him to be a factor in this whole mess? IMO, if you play, you gotta pay. But obviously, you have to ultimately decide just how much damage all of this would put on your marriage.<P>Good luck to you!<P>Karen<BR>