My wife and I have been married for almost 26 years now. We have been to countless seminars and were even marriage counselors at a church we attended 15 years ago. We have worked thru most of the "christian" marriage enrichment programs available and know and practice filling each other needs as best we can. I even ask her periodically if I am doing the job of fulfilling her needs adequately and she answers yes almost all of the time and when she doesn't I try my best to change and fullfill her needs and this is the way it has been since we were first married.<P>12 years ago, she was attracted to a fellow employee and they went somewhere to talk and it ended in sex. She now claims it was date rape but she went back many times for more. That ended and about 2 weeks later she did the same thing with another employee except she doesn't claim it was rape. This affair ended when I suspected something and followed her to his house after work...and then confronted her with it. She of course denied everything for a few weeks. Well things got better, I forgave her after she finally admitted it and our sex life returned with more vigor than when we first were married. After a few months things started slowing down again. I kept asking her if I was fulfilling all her needs and she replied yes...but sex returned to pre-affair amounts. As things slowed down I began to worry but she assured me things were ok and she would never have an affair again. <P>2 years ago she began talking to people on the internet in chat rooms. To make a long story short, she ran off to another state and met this preacher that she had been talking too, and again had an affair. After a few months and me calling her almost daily she finally decided to com back to me. I went and got her and almost immediately sex was fantastic again and very frequent. <P>Now she no longer wants sex again. I ask her just yesterday if I was fulfilling her needs and she said yes.<BR>But she said that she must not be fulfilling my needs and that was the reason I asked. <P>I am committed and she knows that by my past. (forgiving and accepting her back for the third time) <P>I just don't know what to do anymore. I told her about this web site and about some of the policies and when I talked about the policy of honesty she threw a fit and was totally against it. <P>Any suggestions???<BR> <P> <P>------------------<BR><p>[This message has been edited by aeroman (edited June 22, 2001).]

Your wife should be grateful for a man like you. She sounds very agitated and unhappy to keep going outside the marriage. I wonder if she has ever been faced with the reality of possibly losing you....

peepers,<BR>Thank you for your reply. The problem is...she knows that I am totally against divorce and seperation. I am a very strong believer in Bible principles and I believe that it teaches against divorce. So it probably doesn't enter her mind for me to leave and it shouldn't. <P>------------------<BR><p>[This message has been edited by aeroman (edited June 22, 2001).]