WH has just been around to discuss me moving interstate to have our baby. i plan to stay with my mum before the birth and his parents after for i dont know how long but not too long. he says he feels he wont be able to be himself at his parents as they'll tell him what he should be doing - getting back with me, which is still an option but not happening in the near future. he would like me to get my own place asap so he can be there for me and the baby anytime. i have no idea what emotional state i'll be in at that time, but i wonder if its worth a try. i just have no idea what to do. what are the possibilties and are there any other options?<P>dancer

Dancer - I've tried to catch up to you by reading your previous posts. (My au pair was born in Hobart).<P>I'm a man, so I can't identify with the motherly experience, but I can add a father's perspective. What I don't know is whether your H's affair began before or after he knew you were pregnant? I've read that sometimes a wife's pregnancy can cause strange behaviors in husbands.<P>I recommend that you do what is right for you and your baby with your Mum's help. If this means living apart from your H, so be it. I don't know enough about your situation to believe the affair is really over - I always err on the side that it's not - just too many lies have occurred to believe it.<P>If you are in contact with OW's H, direct him to this site, he may need it, too.<P>In almost all cases, affairs end and the wayward spouse at least considers reconciling. In the mean time, the betrayed spouse can do little to influence the affairs end, other than to correct those things that contributed to the pre-existing marriage problems. In short, to hasten an affair's end, don't interfere with it.<P>Be strong and keep us posted. It is...<P>...worthatry

Worthatry,<P>THanks for the reply. I regret putting the Tassie info on my details - can I ever get rid of it?<BR>My H had the Affair and was found out before I got pregnant. But Even though I think the sex has stopped things are still there between them. We live apart at the moment. The OW's H actually directed me to this site. <BR>I'm finding it difficult to not want to interfere with whatever is going on, but it is getting easier. I caught him with the necklace she gave him recently for his birthday in his pocket tonight, and although it hurt to see it I can honestly say it's just all a part of what he's going through - and I realise this now because I have read posts on this site saying similar things. <BR>Thanks again - it's good to hear a guys point of view.<P>Dancer