Here's an update.<P>My W (WS) continues to come around a little I think. We are spending more time together. She is spending more time at our house. If you know my story you know that is a big chnage from her not being able to even be there for more than 45 minutes at a time a couple of months ago, to now spending the afternoon, having dinner, doing some work around the house. We spent much of the weekend together.<P>She has been living on her own for more than three months. Now she says she isn't ready to come home yet but she seems to be somewhat optimistic that she will get there. <BR>I remain cautious but have some hope.)<P>Anyway, after spending much of the weekend together, she said she wonders if it might be good for us to be apart for a week or two for her to see if it is really me she misses or her home and home life. She wants to be sure. I guess I want her to be sure too.<P>She says she sees this as a good sign for us. She tells me to look at the bright side of this...I guess that she is getting closer, but wants to have some certainty.<P>She says she is beginning to understand that her A was more about her not being happy and that she is the only one who can make herself happy not OM. She also says that is over and I tend to believe her. She is still having some withdrawal pains, but not nearly as severe as before. <P>She just says she needs to deal with the issues she has that led to the A. <P>I am hearing a lot of what I had hoped to hear and I am trying to listen and be patient and be supportive...but I guess I was a little disappointed that she is not ready yet and that she is considering needing some more time w/no contact between us. Still, I want her to be sure in her own mind about what she wants and wants to do. Perhaps thisis just my own disappointment more than anything. <P>Anyway, I am just wondering if anyone has any thoughts...<P>None of this is easy, is it? <BR> <P>------------------<BR>Lord give me patience, and give it to me NOW!

(up)<P>Anyone?

Elad,<P>This sounds very, very hopeful to me. Her spending more time with you means that you have made it "safe" and enjoyable for her to do so. Although her A may be over, she has to severe the mental ties. She has to process what she has done. She may truly and honestly want this time alone to try to get her mental act together.<P>You must be doing a great Plan A, so don't get impatient at this time and try to push. Keep doing what has been working for you. Continue to work on the new and improved Elad, and your efforts are sure to pay off very very soon!<P>Pulling for you, Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Elad,<P>I know EXACTLY where you are right now. I know because I am in that same scenario at this moment. My W says that is considering reconciliation. She is even going to counseling with me again. She is not willing to commit at this point, but we have spent a lot of time together lately. She has not yet given up communication with OM. I have told her that I don't believe she will be able to make the decision to commit until OM is out of the picture and she even agreed with my hypothesis (not that she is willing to do anything about it at the moment).<P>I will give you the same input that I have been given. Give her time, give her space, and make it safe (i.e. no ugly discussions at this point) for her to come back to you. <P>You are at least one step ahead of me in that your W has said the A is over. My W still talks to OM several times a day.<P>Hang in there<BR>S&C