I've been away for a bit. <BR>My H, our children and I went on a short vacation trip....which went well.<BR>I've been doing really good at keeping my mouth shut (big problem for me).<BR>Things seem to be getting better and then all of the sudden things seem to slack off. Is this normal?<BR>Before we leave for vacation my H is more attentive and stays so while on our trip. Not as much as I would have liked....but it was more than I've been used to lately. On the day we were leaving for home however he seemed to get a little distant and quiet.<BR>We get home....and not 2 hours later he thinks of an excuse to run up to where he works...supposedly to get his pay stub so we can figure out the bills (have to add...the OW was working at this time). I know for a fact that he didn't talk to her though.<BR>Anyway.....I found out some interesting info yesterday.<BR>H worked 2nd shift on the 14th and 15th of this month..he said he would tell them no if I wasn't ok with it since OW works 2nd shift...I agreed to it saying I was uncomfortable but ok with it. He called me on every break and me and the kids went to see him on his lunch hours both nights at his request.<BR>He was told that they had to work that Saturday and he was happy about it....since we were leaving so early Sunday morning....so he called his boss and asked if they could just work a double Friday night...it was ok with his boss.<BR>I just found out yesterday that he sent everyone else home that night at their normal time except for one person....and you can guess who that was. He even called his boss and told him that he did. BUT...when I confronted him with it he said there was another person there....but he doesn't know if he was clocked in or not because he wasn't working. His safeguard I suppose.<BR>He said he didn't tell me about it before we left or even after we got back because he didn't want to ruin our vacation and because he didn't want me to get upset over nothing.<BR>It just all seems a little fishy to me. <BR>First of all....they all agree to work a double shift and then he sends them all home. He tells his boss that he sent everyone home but one person...OW...and then tells me that there was another guy there...but doesn't know if he was clocked in or not? (can't prove that he was even there at all)<BR>I call there at 1 in the morning trying to get ahold of him for someone and someone else gets on the phone telling me he's in another building because his machine ran bad parts....to call back in an hour..when I know full well all they have to do is page him and he will get the page in the other building. He calls me back exactly an hour later and gives me another story. Tells me that they other guy left at 2:30 and he and the OW didn't leave until 3:30?<BR>We had an agreement when he told them he would work second that she was NOT to be one of the ones that stayed over if he needed someone. AND...that if it did happen and he couldn't get out of it...that he would tell me about it. What did he do though.....he lied about it.<BR>It just seems like alot of coincidences here.....and there are alot of them....let me tell ya.<BR>Is it possible that he saw this as an opportunity to be with her and he took it?<BR>He's been home for 2 months now and this is really the first opportunity that he's had.<BR>It's all very confusing since everyone at work says that they avoid and ignore each other and he says that he wants nothing to do with her and has no feelings for her.<BR>He's digging himself a hole here.<P><BR>

MP:<P>Even if this were a totally innocent thing, remind your H that the rule of honesty says that lying to "protect" you actually does more harm. 100-percent honesty means exactly that: 100-percent open and honest.<P>If circumstances caused the OW and your H to be working together, he should have called you immediately. Get him to agree to this in the future.<P>BTW, did your H do a no contact letter? If not, now is the time.<P>Godspeed and good luck,<BR>STL