I read alot of the posts here and on other boards too. Have read many books on the subject of infidelity, my husband fits the scenario perfectly. He believes that he is the one that is going to beat the odds and make it work with the OW. <P>From everything that I have read, the responses that you all give to others. I know that this is probably not true, why is he so stubborn?<P>Everytime I make a move to be a little bit nice or do something for him he has to push me a way and reminded me that he is not going to change his mind. Almost like he is afraid.<P>He still hasn't told anyone about the upcoming seperation or his new assignment. Is he embarassed by his actions? He wanted so badly to be on the East coast to be by family and he continue's to distance himself from them. We move in less then a month and a half and he told me last night that he has to be gone the last 2 weeks of July.<P>I am trying to prepare to go on with my life, but I just have to wonder why he is being the way that he is? Is there still a little hope there, could he change his mind? I don't know. I am ok for myself if he doesn't but I have to wonder if I shouldn't wait to see, for the kids sake, am I cheating them out of a normal family life?<P>Why oh Why does he have to be this way?<BR>

One thing u should know is that no matter how much you try to tell the WS something that they consider negative about there relationship, they will not LISTEN and HEAR you. He will take it as you are trying to be controlling and telling him that his emotions/feelings are wrong. And no one likes there feelings to be invalidated (word?). Stop trying to convince him that he is wrong. He will fall soon enough, just be there for him IF YOU WANT when the $#*(#$ hits the fan.

daybreak - hopefully you'll get some responses from former WSs, but from what you describe, he sounds pretty typical to me.<P>Stubborn? They all seem to refuse to see. If they're in denial, stubborness is necessary to continue the denial. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt - it flows unhindered through the minds of these creatures.<P>Is he embarassed by his actions? Probably, but not enough. Sometimes I get the impression from my wife that she somehow suppresses her embarassment. I believe there's a real psychological effect taking place that alters their perception of reality.<P>Take a little comfort in knowing your H is probably no different than any other WS - except in his mind.<P>WAT

D:<P>Sound the foghorn, he is lost at sea in a very dense fog bank. (From an exWS persepctive: it is easy to delude oneself when in the fog. What is even more sad, is that WS's can typically maintain the delusion even when daylight attempts to pour in. But, under the right circumstances, enough daylight will eventually dispel the fog.)<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL