My H had the meeting w/lawyer (divorce) yesterday. Then he went to a Association meeting at 5:00pm. He said he might go out for a couple of beers afterwards, he said he would call first though. <P>My H's mother came over last night. She's been really supportive. I really didn't want to be lone. <P>When I got home I know I shouldn't have snooped but I knew my H went to the lawyer. I wanted to see if there was anything he got from them. I discovered a card. I opened it and it was a LOVE card, talking all about LOVE. It was from the OW and she wrote on the inside:<BR> THIS CARD EXPLAINS IT ALL<BR> I LOVE YOU, I MISS YOU, I WANT YOU, I NEED YOU<P>Signed,<BR>HEART & SOUL<BR>OW<BR>Then it was dated 06/16/01<P>My H never called last night he got home at 1:15am. He got into bed and said he was sorry for not being home early. He had a really bad night. He's an emotional wreck, then said no maybe not. I asked him what happened he said he got into it with a girl at the meeting. They were all playing pool and this girl was talking about OW. He said it upset him how people talk about other people and they don't know the truth. He said no one knows the OW until they know the OW she has looked my H in the eye and said that those things were not true. He said this girl and him got into it and he left upset. He never went out to the other bar for some beers. He said he left at 9:30pm and was driving around until he got home (1:15am). I told my H I was sorry he had a bad night. I also asked him when he arrests someone and they look him in the eye & tell him their inocent does he always believe them...he said no..<BR>I said NO ONE talks about me that way and I don't give anyone to give them a reason to, don't you think there might be some truth to some of those stories???? I asked him to quit worring about other peoples lives and worry about his. I noticed his wedding ring was not on AGAIN.<BR>I asked him. He got up & put it back on. Then he saw the note his mother had left him. She wrote that she was there helping me with somethings and that she took ALL the empty beer bottles/cans and whiskey/vodka bottles home. She couldn't believe what he was doing to me by doing this to me since I went through it all in my childhood (mother alcoholic). She said she's ready to talk when he is.<BR>He came to bed and cried. He said everyone really hates him. I said NO everyone Loves you. He said his head was going to explode. I rubbed his head. He said he's been hurting for so long. I said I have only seen him hurting since May 29, 2001. I hugged him and rubbed his head then I turned over to the other side and he said he needed be to come back over by him so I did. <P>He doesn't know I found the card. This OW had really got a grip on him. I don't know what to believe. Was he with her last night or was he really telling the truth. I want to believe what he told me on Sunday, He said he knows I don't want to talk about the OW but he been leaving that alone and been really good. He said it's been really hard but it's getting a little easier. He also said he's tired of lying, it's killing him.<P>My H got up this morning for training. He seem okay maybe alittle distant. He kissed me bye. I put a card in his truck for him to read. He was raised a good Christian person. The card was a religious card. It talked about how sometimes our relationships/marriages are challanged and it gave assurance God will be there and renew our love. I can't remember everything but it was good. Maybe I shouldn't have done this but I didn't want to preach to him. I wanted something he could read which I think would mean more than if we would just talk.<P>I hope this card the OW was given to him on 6/16/01 like it says, instead of just recently. <P>What should I do. Should I tell him I know about the card??? I would like to bring the card back to her and talk to her but I was told by someone to NOT confront her she is so demanding to win she could actually be dangerous.<P>I'm stuck in a hard place. My H is stuck in the dark and won't wake up. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Especially his parents. They're concerned about my H's drinking too. I know if we confront him he will say he needs to drink because his marriage is driving him crazy.<P>I think if we push or pressure my H too much he will fall and/or run. I'm scared and I want so much to have my H get out of the FOG.<P>LOVEMESS <BR>
