Hi Rick, if you don't mind, I have a question for you. In a previous post, you mentioned that your wife was married at age 20, and is now "sowing her oats" so to speak---she never had a chance to be the wild, single woman and now wants to experience that. <P>This may be a bit personal, but I was curious if this was your wife's first marriage. If it is, I put her at about 27/28, the same age as H and I.<P>The reason I ask, is that we also got married very young (18 to be exact), and H has definately exhibited the same behaviors---wanting to act single, party, be able to do whatever he wants and escape all reality and responsibilities. An early MLC, I've been told by many.<P>I guess I'm hoping, like you probably are, that they'll "grow up" and act like responsible adults, huh?

Sorry I didn't answer this before...I just found it now.<P>First marriage for her, and yes, she is living the singles life that she didn't have before. When I met her, she was a homebody, just liked helping her parents around the house, watching movies, didn't like bars, thought that phase of life was not needed.<P>All of a sudden, last year, she started playing one sport, then started going out after, then joined another sport, started going out after that too, and it just expanded from there. She did tell me that she felt she needed to get out more, socialize, and I just figured it was a phase, so didn't say no. I wanted to support her.<P>She even said she envied this friend of hers, who was single and could do as she pleased. I still didn't clue in.<P>Then about a month or two later, drops the bombshell, she wants out of our marriage. Now she is just like this friend she envied. But of course, in there also was OM.<P>Yeah, I'm wondering if my wife will grow up and be a responsible adult. She darn well should, considering that she has two kids. She can't spend an evening in her house without having a bunch of her friends over. I don't like it.<P>She used to be so adamantly against the "need" to do as she is doing now. Her sister used to tell her that she'd regret not doing it when she was young. She would get upset at her sister. Now her sister is getting married this summer, and has been very supportive of me.<P>Anyway, that is a long answer to your question.<P>

H was 23 and I was 24 when we married 4 yrs ago (so we were 21 and 22 when we met). We had both been through the 'party phases' in our lives.. but I more so than him. I account the difference being the fact that I was born and raised in Toronto, and had ample opportunity to do the bar scene, concert scene, etc. H was born and raised in a small town in southwestern Ontario (population about 6500). He didn't have the same opportunities.<P>When we met in 95, I was just getting out of my party phase, and he was getting tired of what little he had experienced of it by then too. We settled down. Then our first son was born in October 96. Our second son was born in May 99, and by the time I was pregnant with the twins in mid 2000, H was getting ancy. I think it was all coming back to him.<P>In our case, he had about 4 months of 'freedom'. And didn't like it. He's finally realizing that every now and then is great, but he likes the family lifestyle more.<P>Here's hoping that both you and Rick will have spouses that will see the same thing soon too! Hugs!<P>Karen<BR>

Hey, I think I fit right in here.<P>Both married at 18, first child at 20, second at 25 and third at 26. After 2nd child, H just started acting weird, getting really depressed and stuff, but I was already pregnant with #3, so... (both age 26 now).<P>Now H has found a single 22-year old college student and spends pretty much all his free time with his female college buddies and their little clique. Hmmm....

Thanks for your information. I'm just trying to figure out when this phase of immaturity will end.<P>Rick---What I have a hard time with is that they just do not see what they are doing to the kids. Like they have no clue. What also makes it harder is that the OP in our situations are not married. There isn't really anything to make them break away from our spouses, other than morals---and it's obvious that they don't have those anyway.<P><BR>Topie---I've been following your story and am so glad that things are turning around for you. Yes, I hope that they do for us, too. Can you send some of those good vibes this way <P>HBH---yep, you definately fit in. 3 kids by age 27 here, too. I'll keep praying for you HBH, something's got to work out for us......<BR>