Last night I had a bad dream. I dreamt my H gave me a little card that said a bunch of sweet things on it and then he reached over and said "Can you ever forgive me?" Then we went into recovery and were at an amusement park, in the haunted house and he said "I didn't mean what I said the other day about us. Things are going good between me and OW now, I am happy."<P>Ugh. It gives me chills. I can't seem to get it out of my head. Any ideas on other things I can think about? <P>I usually like to re-dream and change the ending so the dreams are not that bad, but I can't seem to do that to this one... OW just keeps popping in.<P>It's making me get that feeling in the bottom of my stomach, an anxiety attack is just about ready to hit and I'm trying like he** to keep it down since I'm at work. I'm sure it doesn't help that I forgot my Celexa this morning, now does it?<P>WAT - got any good one-liners?

HBH:<P>Willie Shakespeare once said: "to sleep, perchance to dream" ... start jotting this stuff down; write a romance novel, get rich and famous. Where will OW be then?<P>You will be off doing book signings in Honolulu. WS will swim the Pacific to rejoin you ...<P>Well, don't want to influence the novel too much...<P>Thoughts and prayers with you,<BR>Godspeed,<BR>STL

There is a school of thought that your dreams are manifestations of your own inner thoughts, not representing what he will do but what you fear. I guess you already knew that part. You let your good feelings be pushed away by the bad.<P>I have my own school of thought that I have bad dreams when I get hot at night. This probably isn't as much help as you need right now, but tonight concentrate on re-dreaming, and turn the ac down a few degrees.<P>I do the same as you, carry the dream feelings into my waking reality. I do find that writing it down, as you did, helps me release the feelings. My dreams are usually very vivid, and very insightful of my waking reality. So I know how bad it feels to not let go of the vision that you are hoping isn't real.<P>m<P>PS: leave a couple of Celexa tabs in your desk at work for emergencies like this.<P>(first a 6 month lurker, now a timid poster. My details later).<P>------------------<BR>commonlaw

Thanks. Great idea about leaving some Celexa at work. I'm writing myself a note now to remember to bring extra's in.<P>Hmmm... I think writing that book is a great idea. I'd love to go to Honolulu and pretend my H is swimming across the great big blue to be back with me. Great, now I have hawaiin music stuck in my head. <P>commonlaw - would love to hear your post. Thanks for the good advice.

Hey HbH,<P>I love Hawaiian music. But then I am a bit biased since my family is from there. Anyway about your dreams and anxiety attacks. Very common combination. <P>Keep your medication near by. If and when the anxiety attack should hit. Find a quiet spot, bring a friend/co-worker if possible and let it run its course. Mine happened at work, during a meeting, in the car, at home and in the store. It is your body's way of dealing with your stress. Don't fight it. Will you be embarressed. Probably. That is the least of your worries. Let the embaressment piece go. Fighting it will only make it worse. <P>After it passes, you may feel exhausted. Get some rest if you can. <P>The dreams will eventually subside. Mine reocurred for 2 months, the same dream. Even my son had them and his was heart wrenching. <P>So know this is temporary and will pass. <P>L.<P>

Darn, no good one liners at the moment - give me time.<P>Of course, it WAS a haunted house - where all scares are fantasy and nothing is really real. Perhaps this is a message in disguise?<P>WAT

Had another bad dream last night, I want to write it down, and this is my way of doing it and getting it out. At least I know why I am getting them. I am supposed to meet H tomorrow night when he brings the kids back and I am very nervous about it. I am in plan B but can't get out of meeting him and I don't know what will happen so I am anxious.<BR>What if he has a problem and wants to talk? What do I say? Do I blow him off cuz' he I am in plan B? How?<BR>What if he just leaves and doesn't talk? Is that a bad sign?<BR>What if he says he's thinking of coming back? Do I talk then to find out if he's willing to do what was in the plan B letter?<P>I know, I know - I just stop worrying that's all. <P>Okay, so my dream. I'm at a convention with my H for some reason and he starts talking about how wonderful OW is, how much he loves her (blech), how they went to Germany together and made love. So I get real pi**ed, yell, scream, tell him to go fu** off. Explain how much he's hurt me and how he's a horrible person. We talked about OW and he says "I'm not looking for forever love, just someone to make me happy now." and I say, "Well I guess I can't compete then because I offer you forever love."<P>So then, I get divorce papers all set up and everything and he meets me somewhere, obviously upset and says "I'm so sorry, I love you, I want forever love, can you ever forgive me and take me back after all the pain I've caused?" And I say, I think it may be too late, but I will try if you will. First you need to stop seeing OW, he says OKAY, but I have a date with her tonight. I say, no, don't even go there, it either starts right now or doesn't start at all, we're not waiting for "after your date". He says, okay I'll do it.<P>And the dream ended. At least this ending was better than the night before...<P>Thanks for listening, it helps for me to get it out.<BR>HbH