Just a Poll on how many have experienced an A reoccurence, whether it be same OP or not. If you could pls tell us how many along with the duration and years apart they occured.<P>For me there have been two.<P>A #1:<P>H was mid-30's<BR>Affair lasted 15 mos<BR>Seperated 13 mos<BR>Fathered two children, 2 OW<P>A #2:<P>H was 42<BR>OW #2 (revisted)<BR>Affair ended marriage<P>Thanks in advance for your stats! <P>Best,<BR>Jo<P>------------------<BR>"Remain flexible like a reed, as opposed to an oak which can snap in the wind"

Back to the TOP. Awwwwe, c'mon folks. Anyone experience A reoccurences?<P>Jo

Resilent~<P>I sadly have to say my husband had a reoccurence. First d-day was Feb 00' and second with the same OP was Aug 00'. <P>Recovery now 10 months and things are so much better. Rebuilding have a strong foundation (my husbands words) and we are rebuilding and healing.<P>Judy

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Resilient:<BR><B>If you could pls tell us how many along with the duration and years apart they occured.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I've never thought about duration of xw's affairs, so I thought maybe I'd learn somthing by answering this one. Hope it helps.<P>A #1:<BR>W was 35<BR>A lasted about 4 months (Sept '97-Dec '97)<BR>no separation at this point<BR>EA only<P>A #2:<BR>W was still 35<BR>A has lasted to today (Dec '97-current)<BR>separated Feb 17, 2001; divorced May 9, 2001<BR>EA/PA<P>A #3:<BR>W still 35 (she was busy that year)<BR>A lasted to today (Dec '97 or so-current)<BR>EA, don't know if this is still going on or not<P>A #4:<BR>W was 35<BR>A lasted just a couple of weeks (Feb '98)<BR>EA only<P>A #5:<BR>W was 35<BR>A lasted about 16 months (April '98-Aug '99)<BR>EA/PA<P><BR>There is some overlap in the chronology as you can see, along with some things that have gone on since separation that I don't know enough about to detail. I kept track of her activities with #2, but there have been dates and, um, other activities with other guys that he doesn't know about. She's made long-term plans with him (#2) but they live 1,000+ miles apart so I can't see it lasting very long...on the other hand, she spent last weekend with him, so who knows?<P>What I <I>do</I> know is that she hasn't been truthful with or faithful to me or any of the A victims since her brain fell out in late '97. I also know that rather than a recurrence, I was fooled into thinking we were attempting to reconcile. She was just getting better at hiding her activities from me.<P>Good luck, Jo.<P>--<BR>o2bsane@hotmail.com<BR><p>[This message has been edited by o2bsane (edited June 28, 2001).]

Ugh, memory lane sucks!<P>A #1 - Feb 1999, H was 25.<BR> A lasted around 3 months (not sure when exactly it ended.<P>A #2 - Aug 2000, H was 28.<BR> A lasted about 3 weeks, between 1 and 3 women he messed around with. Resulted in our separation, which lasted 3 1/2 weeks. I also started seeing somebody during this time - broke it off immediately after reconciliation.<P>IA - March 2001. H was visiting "Sex on the Side" website, a site dedicated to women looking for discreet EMA's. I caught that in the embryo stage of correspondence with a woman, who knows where it could have headed if I hadn't found his hiding spot.<BR>

1st time w was 32 lasted 1+ month<BR>2nd time w was 32 lasted 1+ month (started 2 weeks after first stopped) <BR>3rd time w was 42 lasted 2-3 months as ea and 2 days as pa.<BR>First two were pa's only.

I don't usually post here but here's my STBX history:<P>A #1<BR>H was 31, OW 19<BR>Lasted 12 months, overseas, long distance EA<BR>no separation we stayed together<P>A #2<BR>H was 34 <BR>Duration 3 months. <BR>She worked at hotel where he was staying for business travel<P><BR>A #3<BR>H was 35<BR>Ongoing as far as I know<BR>This is mostly a EA phone deal. They met at a conference.<P>A #4<BR>H was 36<BR>Duration 8 months<BR>EA probably PA<BR>Girl he met while working in St. Louis<BR>I think he stopped contact with her not sure.<P>Now he tells me he is unhappy blah, blah, blah. You all know the lines.<P>A #5 <BR>H is 37<BR>Back to OW #1 and the long distance thing<BR>I'm sure it is PA now as he is visiting her as I type.<BR>Duration 3 months<P>A #6<BR>Still 37<BR>Girl he met in New Orleans while working there<BR>duration I don't know, ongoing yes, EA probably PA<BR>He brought her home for a weekend. Kids were introduced.<P>All I can say is yuck.<P>H filed for D June 18, 2001 after realizing that I would not. I took my wedding vows seriously and would not be the one to file.

My H is having a A with OW for over a year. She has had another affair in her first years of marriage. I had someone investigate her, would like to know exactly how many affairs she has had. I believe this is not her second affair, but there were more. And she will continue to have more.

Yes, the dreaded reoccurance!<P>DDay #1 Sept. 1999: H was 46, OW was 30. It had been going on about six months or so as "flirting", crossed the line in July. H confessed in September and ended contact in October.<P>DDay #2 Aug. 2000: H was 47, Same OW. Contact had restarted in March. OW's husband recorded phone conversation that proved affair and immediately came to tell me. I confronted (BIG understatement)and that supposedly ended it. Still waiting to see if that's really true this time!<P>Peppermint

Sadly, there have been 3. All with the same OW<P>D-day #1: July 21, 2000. A lasted 11 months or so I was told. Orginally wanted a divorce to be with for but never left home and never mentioned divorce again. Said he wanted his family.<P>D-day #2: October 2, 2000.Never really ended it in the first place. Only led me and his family to believe everything was working out fine.<P>D-day #3:April 12, 2001. A lasted 4 months. Each time I was told about A, it was because OW ended the relationship because she wanted it all and he wouldn't leave his wife and family.Plus OW was pissed that H would not let the A get physical again because of a promise he made to me.<P>They still work side by side (OW is his secretary). Do I think there will be other D-days. Unfortunately, Yes, as long as they work together. How long will I continue to keep taking him back? Don't know the answer to that one yet. H is still in the fog but every now and then I see the rays of the sun trying to filter through the fog. Will it ever lift as long as they work together? Don't know the answer to that one either. I do know his family (me included) are very important to him or he would have left already. He's said "no" to her demands to leave his family three times, you'd think this woman would find another job. It should be obvious to her that he is not going to leave his family. Maybe she should concentrate on her own family and husband and leave mine alone!!<P>

Resilent,<P>I have made up my mind. If my husband has another affair no matter who it is with. That is it. I will not go through this bull scap again. Life is to short and there is more fish to fry.<P>