I began writing on this website to vent....... I was very angry with my husband, and had every right to be, and I needed to let loose. I had a therapy session last night, and now I want to give everyone the full story of what happened and how it started.<P>As I said before, my husband began all of this about 2 years ago. It started right around the time I had our son. The last 3 months of my pregnancy was very difficult. I had a great deal of swelling, to the point that I was gaining an average of 2-5 pounds a week, and I was very uncomfortable. The last month I got a real bad chest cold and I couldn't lie down or I would cough so hard that I would vomit. I became very distant, and I had no intrest in sex what so ever. The day I had our son the nurse weighed me, I had hit 200 pounds! My son weighed only 7 pounds 3 ounces. They weighed me again the next day, before they did my tubal, and I had lost 30 pounds just having him! After I came home I was extremly depressed........ My son couldn't nurse and it hit me that I could no longer have children. (you'd think that 4 was enough) I continued to be distant, and I still didn't want to have sex. My husband never lost intrest in me..... He tried to seduce me on a regular basis. Unfortunately, not only did I reject him, but sometimes I wasn't even nice about it. My husband understood that I was exhausted, and he didn't want to upset me. I guess he figured that he should take matters into his own hands, so to speak, and that is how it all started. He knows now that he upset me alot more by doing what he did. He never actually met anyone, it was just "cybersex". I don't believe that what he did was okay under the circumstances, and he understands that. He says that he never felt good about himself afterwards, and he is glad that I found out so that we can get some of the passion back in our relationship. I found out most of this in February when I first confronted him, and things had begun to get much better, more affection, which made us both happy. I didn't find out about the "cybersex" until May, when everything came out. He claims that by that time they were just friends and that the "cybersex" had ended. He claims that he hadn't engaged in "cybersex" since things had started to improve. The conversation that I read was not "sexual" in nature, but he did tell her that I had been logging him and that was why he hadn't "talked" with her in a while, he was afraid that I would catch him. The only reason he talked with her that night was because he thought that the logging program was gone. I hope this makes sense to all of you. I plan to continue to write, I just felt that everyone deserved to know the whole story.
