My H & I had a talk last night. We agreed that we would work on things together instead of involving his family. He also said things were NOT good. He wasn't going to move out but he also wasn't going to make any promises that it will work(I could feel he doesn't want it to work). He wanted to get all our financial stuff lined up. Said I felt we needed to be positive and work on the positive. I felt he was already annulling our marriage in his mind. He said he wasn't going to lie he is. He went to work and around 10:30pm last night I received a call from a close friend who works with the OW.<P>She asked how I was doing. I said NOT GOOD. We talked about the whole thing. She said she heard about it three days ago and she has not been able to sleep. She had to do somthing, so she called. I thanked her. She said this OW is evil. She makes men think she's a good Christian person. She said the OW has been separated from her H for 18 months now. The OW was the one who was cheating on her H. (She told my H the opposite so he is feeling sorry for her) This person told me the OW has conquered four men forsure in the last 18 months now she's after my H. The OW told my H that she hasn't has sex in over a year that there's nothing to worry about getting. This friend told me the OW has bragged about her life to all of them. The OW bragged about being in a hot tub alone with seven naked guys. She flirts with all males at work and has gotten in trouble for it. The OW has been telling people now that she is my H's best consolor who's made him believe things in his marriage. The OW says she knows she a HOME WRECKER and she doesn't care. Like she's proud of it just as long as she has all the attention. She's telling people my H is divorcing me & again she's the home wrecker. <P>She has told my H that once you lose something in a marriage you will NEVER get it back. Affairs and discovery of something different will let you know what you really want. The children will be okay if you divorce. <P>My H believes that his affair was my fault I made him do it. He has been dead inside for years and I made him that way. He doesn't really love me. <P>This friend said this OW is evil and will probably try to ruin my H's Police job. She said it will probably get VERY ugly before it's all over. She said that the OW only keeps her man for 2-4 months then goes to the next. <P>Our friend also said the OW kids are a totally messed up they don't know where up is. <P>This friend said I should get tested for STD. The OW has had a Hystod. and can't of course have anymore children so at least I don't have to worry about her getting pregnant.<P>I told my friend about the horoscope she gave my H. She said the OW bragged and showed it to everyone there at work too. I told her I found the LOVE card that had that my H received too from the OW that she wrote. I LOVE YOU, I MISS YOU, I NEED YOU, I WANT YOU. HEART & SOUL OW<P>This friend told me she wishes she could do something but she has seen my H he is living in fantasy world. The only thing we can do is pray. She said if I could hang in there for 2 - 4 months my H will probably fall and I will have to be there to pick up the pieces.<P>I feel like I'm dreaming and I want to WAKE UP. My H is against me and believes everything the OW says. If she says the sky is green, WELL THEN IT'S GREEN. He is lost...<P>He also said last night that it's not wrong to talk to the OW for guidance to the end. (Either it be divorce or together again) I told him I felt really uncomfortable and hurt by this. Now I am scared after I talked to this friend. The OW will be involved and knowing wanting to wreck our marriage. If I or anyone else would confront my H about what the OW is doing and saying. He will believe the OW. I already tried this. My H said the OW looks him in the eye and he believes her. <P>I need some support on what I should do????<P>LOVEMESS

Okay, I know you know this, but there is not any OP out there that is trying to save a marriage or make a better person out of a WS <BR>There are people out there that have MAJOR character flaws and immoral wants that can fool too many of us. I am sooooo sorry for what you are going through. I understand the embarrassment and humility of STD testing...you need to protect yourself and you deserve nothing less than ,aking sure you are healthy in that department.<BR>Fact is though, it does not matter what this OP reputaion, agenda, character flaws, manipulations, etc. mean to you and what you and others may know. Until your H sees her for what she is and stops associating negatives to you and positives for her, no one's opinion, words or feelings are going to do a thing for her. In fact, the more you rip her apart...like a rebelling teenager, your H will probably grow closer to her.<BR>Pray, pray and pray. Pray for strength. Pray for God's blessings. Pray for your H. Pray for the other woman. Don't make the same mistakes I did. You can dislike her and be as angry as you want with her...just don't tell your H. AND DON"T BUY INTO HIS AFFAIR BEING YOUR FAULT!!!!!!Stickin' thinkin' is what your H is doing...like a dog runs from a scared skunk and avoids the chase, avoid this conflict and be dragged into the stinkin' thinkin' quicksand. <BR>I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry for what you are going through. It is difficult when your husband values himself more in the eyes of a promiscuous woman that will settle for ANY man, than the value he feels being one woman's one in 100 million.

LM:<P>What you hear is the fog speaking. Focus on Plan A, that is how you gradually lift the fog.<P>As far as OPs, they are also in the fog AND they do not have your best interests at heart.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL