My BIL called tonight to see how I was fairing. Hubby has been sending e-mails to his family and twists things around to justify what he is doing. BIL says OW is 28--20 years younger than my H. They are planning to move together to Memphis in August.<P>Though I have been preparing for this...it is still devastating. Does the pit in your stomach ever go away? Lately it seems I can't ever think about anything but this situation. I can't eat, sleep and I am already on anti-depressants. My oldest daughter and I leave for Europe next weekend...and I haven't been able to do a thing to get ready. I hate feeling so out of control. I wish I could get out of this trip. I don't know if I can handle traveling with a girl's soccer team through Europe. My heart is just not in it. <BR> I am really worried about my mother coming to take care of my other 3 children and my husband showing up here. I know he will. I hate that she will have to go through that. When will this pain ever stop?? I am really down tonight. Why does life have to be sooooo hard?

Just wanted to say that I am sorry for your pain. It will get better, and you'll eat and sleep. <P>I hope that you can make the best of the trip. I'm sure it is hard to leave under the circumstances.<P>Make sure you let us know how it goes.

How do you start preparing for the future...I just see this big dark hole. Everyone thinks I can make it because I am strong....why don't I feel strong? I don't know if I can do this. I don't want to do this...