hi, i haven't posted in awhile, i had alot of things going on. don't know if anyone remembers me or not, but here it goes. back in march i ha to have the open heart surgery, h went back to ow after he through him in jail and lied, i finally had enough that i told him to leave me alone a stay out of my life. anyway i did my recover from the surgery and eventually his mom got a hold of me and wanted to see the kids, which i didn't have a problem with. long story short she said that h wanted to know if he could call and talk with them, i never stopped him from that, he jut stopped calling. anyway he called right afterwards and talked to the kids then he wanted to talk to me, said he would be nice. we talked for an hr, come to find out that ow throuhg him in jail about a wk before that, lol, they always had a very disfunctally relationship where she hit him and one night he was leaving her an she kept on hitting him and he finally lost it an hit her. so he was arrested, he is on 9months probation and has to go to domestic classes and see a phys. now just to let you know something, h is not like that, he never hit me an i know he would never. i don't believe that but honestly she deserved it. so anyway after we talked i called his mom and told her that i could not be his friend cause of the feelings i still have. the next night me and a friend went to a club and guess what he was there. came up to me and asked if he could by me a drink, i let him and then i said goodbye, and he told me to hae a good night. he left and about an hr later he called me on my cell phone, told me that i wasn't suppose to answer that he wanted to leave me a vm, so i said that i would hang up, he told me to please not hang up on him. so i went outside and i talked to him fo an hr, he was telling me that he was sorry that he ran away and hasn't been there for me and the kids. and he wanted to pick me up, to end a long story, we slept with eachother that night and last weekend too.he has called me too. he has been watching me when i have been up at the club and could tell me me every guy tht i talked to and dance with. one night we were both there and he new i was going and brought some friends, one was a girl, he was playing that game to see if it would get to me, and it did. we were both jealous cause i did things to. he told me that he had went bak up there and saw me dan<BR> cing and it took everything for him to try not to look over his shoulder. i still love him and he told me last weekend when he spent the night that i have change and why didn't i do this a year ago. we have not discuss what we are doing, he even invited me and the kids to his house last monday and made us dinner. should i finally tell him how i truly feel, i think we are both scared but i don't know how to do it. i don't want to scare him off, but i want to get us back. any suggestion, or am i being a fool

i was just thinking about talking to him tonight, talk about the kids first, but i need some help. i did call him to see if we could talked and of he wa like what about, i told him that i didn't want to get into it now, he said sure. one more thing he told my brother that he couldn't believe that this was me, and looked sad and said that he thought all i wanted was a ----. i never said that so i don't know what is going through his mind. he also left a vm that one night when we were both jealous, after i saw him wiht his friends and one was a girl, i told him on his cell that i guess he was using me, anyway he said that he was not using me that he thought that was all i wanted and to please not blame him,but if i needed to blame him that he had enough blame. that that girl was just a frien and that he was not ------- her that i could see people and we didn't discuss that. so i don't know if i should go ahead with the talk or just let everything lie, i'm afraid if i do we both may have our pride stand in the way and then i am also scared to death

i was just reading help- wants me to call, am i falling back into the trap? just wondering cause now i had all these emotions hiding and now i have them resurface

Boy, I'm not getting all my housework done. But your posts is tugging at my heartstrings. Here goes, HB, you are in a similar position as Rick but your H is talking a 'bit' more sense. <P>Are you strong enough to talk to him yet? Is a 3rd party a better option? Let your H know how talking to him makes you feel. Let each other know where the scare is. How to overcome it. Let each other know the purpose of the discussion and the importantce to make sure you are protected from further harm. <P>My my, you just had heart surgery right? This kind of stuff is hard enough for the rest of us with stronger tickers. Please be careful. Don't continue to play that dangerous let's see who will be jealous first. Tell your H that is dangerous for your health!!!!! If he can't stop doing that you had better reconsider if you are willing to put yourself in jeporady to save this marriage. <P>Your health is important. Please be careful. IMHO, I would use a 3rd party to establish some firm ground rules before talks resume. Your H neesd to not play around with your health!!<P>Please take care,<BR>L.<BR>