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Joined: Aug 2000
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Rick37 Offline OP
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bitsy,<P>Suddenly you appeared on my posts and I hadn't seen you for awhile. How is everything? Any update on your situation?<P>Thanks for popping by to help me out.

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Rick,<BR>No you didn't miss an update. . I've been reading some, but not really posting, but I couldn't keep my mouth shut when I saw your recent posts!!! Especially when I see how your W is affected & how she's reacting-it makes me smile to see how she's flopping around, calling you for the stupidest (sorry!) reasons. . .who's being silly now???!!! Let yourself smile about it a little too, not out of cruelty, don't think you would hurt a fly, but she's gonna have to feel some discomfort if anything is going to change right?<P>The fog in my life is now gone! The mothership has gone back to whatever planet it came from. My man is back!! And he's doing wonderfully! About a month ago he wrote OW a no contact letter, on his own, I didn't ask for it (I still swear he read my SAA book!). She replied to his email, he read it, but didn't respond. He said I could read both of them, don't even think I want to, I just don't need to, so I haven't yet.<P>He's been saying stuff like "I think it's high time I stand up & do what needs to be done, so we can get on with our lives together". When I told him that he could maybe expect to have some more scared or unsure feelings, he said "Yea, well I'm going to fix that." And he has been. For a little while around the time he sent the no contact letter I could see him feeling unsure, except this time I could also see him trying very, very hard not to ACT on those feelings, and he didn't. I'm very proud of him. We talk about the future and he tells me things like "Where my head is right now, I'm ready to move forward with my life, and I'm taking you with me." He sees now how important he is to my D's, and it makes him feel good now, instead of afraid. He says stuff like "I think we are moving to a new level in our relationship, a level that most people aren't together long enough to reach".<P>I'm loving every minute of it!! I know that we still have plenty to work thru, I understand that at some point I'm going to feel very angry at him for all of this (we've talked about that too), but we're going to make it. He's working with me now! You know, the pain I've been thru is just horrible, but I've learned so much & I've grown so much from this whole mess that I'm almost thankful (almost!). It's a strange feeling. Like I guess I'm proud of myself for taking an awful situation and making many, many positive things come out of it. Many changes in myself that were long overdue. . .still trying to figure out why I needed to be beat over the head before I could see this stuff!!<P>Anyhow, thanks for asking about me!! I think I'll be around a little more, trying to give back a little of what I got here. Answer your questions??!!

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Bitsy, your recovery story has given me new strength. Thank you for that!<P>I am SO, SO happy for you and your H. God bless.<P>HbH

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Bitsy!!<P>How dare you just show up with a great story and wait for Rick to pry it out of you!<P>Congratulations!!!!<P>I love to see more proof that affairs dont last. <BR>Lora

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WAY TO GO BITSY!!!!!!!<P>Wow! I'm speechless again. You inspire me.<P>WAT

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[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

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I know you guys, it is WOW isn't it? As my girls would say. . .Go bitsy, go bitsy, it's your birthday, not really, go anyway!!!!<P>HBH-glad my story helped you!! Keep hanging on, it's a rough ride, but mostly I think it does end. Make the best of it you can. . .somehow that's what happened to me. Alot of things in me have changed thru this-for the better.<P>Lora-that's right, they don't. OW couldn't hang. . .I can!<P>WAT-yikes! I inspire YOU???!!! Thanks-still laughing about the shoelace thing. . .I'm probably gonna use that one when I can!<P>Terri-thanks for the smilies. . .that's me all the time now!

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Oh yea. . and Rick-so. . ..what do you think????!!!

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Rick37 Offline OP
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bitsy,<P>Awesome news. How did you keep that from us? You are a little rascal. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>You can tell him that we are so happy for both of you.<P>And about being beat over the head to figure it out.....you are not alone there...quite common!<P>Glad you are "back", and glad he is back.

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bitsy--your post brought me to tears....I needed that. Thanks. God bless your marriage and your H is saying some awesome things.<P>Keep on keeping on<P>TW

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Wow! I am feeling so discouraged today. It's WONDERFUL to see some good news for someone else... it plants a little more hope in my situation! Thank you for sharing! <P>Bitsy, Hang in there and good luck to you!<P>------------------<BR>Faith1

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You know, I did finially tell him about MB, gave him the address & told him that if he looked & found me he probably wouldn't like some of the stuff he saw. He at least came here for a little while, b/c he said something about not needing to learn from other peoples experiences (this was about a week or so b/f the no contact letter. So I don't think you'll see any posts from him-that's ok. But I'll tell him about your wishes.<P>I'm not really sure why I didn't post this stuff b/f. . partly I guess b/c the last few months have been him taking two steps towards me & then one step back, just when it would start getting good. . you guys remember, right? And I guess partly b/c I just felt a little overloaded, you know? But I think I'm glad I'm back. I'm glad you asked about me Rick. . it feels good to write about what's been happening, and it feels good to get some positive responses from people. You all know how people in the "real" world are. . pretty much nobody belives in us, or in him. But I do.<P>Thanks everyone. . .and I'm also glad to hear how my story is giving others hope. There's lots & lots of ups & downs, just buckle in and hang on for your life!!! This stuff does work!!

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So glad to hear your news Bitsy. You have inspired me before on this website but this story today was wonderful!<P>Keep up the good work!

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bitsy:<P>Congratulations! Stay the course!<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL

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Hi Bitsy,<P>Crashing in on Rick's post but it looks like it is full of good news. I am so happy for you and your family. <P>Part of your comments raised a question. I'll ask it later. Right now you need to bask in the light of all of our well wishes. <P>All the best to you and yours,<BR>L.<BR>

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Thanks again everyone!<P>Mazey-that means alot. . making me more convinced that I should keep posting here-helping, just like I got/still get!<BR>Geez. . I'm inspiring!! See, more good coming out of this ugly mess.<P>STL-I have been reading your posts. Congratulations to you also. You are very, very helpful here to people.<P>Orchid-don't keep me waiting. . .you're making me nervous!!<BR>

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What an inspiring post. It is great to hear about some positive situations---people who have made it through.<P>Congratulations!!!!


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