Just venting my worries. H is not back yet. Of course he never did tell MIL what time he'd bring the kids back, kept evading the question (when the movie is out, I don't know, etc.).<P>Now I am just worried that he might have gotten into an accident (MIL said he looked very tired but he SAID he was fine to drive). He is working on almost NO sleep, and if you read any of my other posts this is one of the main reasons I was against letting him have the kids today.<P>Okay. My house is spotless, there is nothing on TV. Guess I can try and read a book to keep busy. I am SO tired but have to stay up.<P>He is so thoughtless. I hope my kids are okay.

I'm sure your kids are fine.....and you are right, he is thoughtless. Go figure.<P>I wish I had something valuable to add, but just know that we're here. I'm getting very sleepy and tired myself, so I'm not very coherent.<P>Hugs,<BR>Bound

Okay, that was really weird. H finally got home at 10:15pm (geesh!). He looked really upset. Stood outside the door and handed me my 2-year old, a bunch of stuff. Said this dolphin is D-6, this is D-2, and this is S-1. Then he just turned around and walked away. I said bye and he didn't say anything.<P>Then he knocks on the door again and says he needs his mail. I say it's in the mailbox. He says okay and leaves again. I said "you can say Bye y'no" and he just shook his head NO, that would break the no contact he says (kinda mean).<P>Then he drives up again and comes to the door and says "This letter came to the wrong address. It's been in there for a while so you may want to take care of it." And he leaves again.<P>That was WEIRD. He was so cold and distant. It sounds like he is finally okay with the no contact agreement. This sort of upsets me, I guess I like it alot better when he is trying to contact me (it gave me hope on our marriage). I know this is what I asked for, but it is tough. I am so afraid he will use this time to get closer to OW and away from me.<P>I don't like it when he is angry/cold/mean to me. I know it is a normal reaction to plan B, but I still don't like. It makes me feel like this is the wrong thing to do, but I know it is not.<P>Sigh. I know, I need to just live for me and forget about him while he figures things out. BUT I DON'T WANT TO!!! I don't want to.<P>Can anyone say anything positive to me about what just happened??

It sounds like you are in Plan B. If you are, then there should be a liaison between you & your H, regarding contact with the children. "No Contact" means no direct contact. I have never been in Plan B. I can imagine how difficult it is, but if you are in Plan B, you need to stick to it.<P>Good luck to you.

HbH,<P>Yes. I can say something positive. You know that I just had way too many phone calls from my wife. I got drained from them. It was a management crisis, trying to figure out what to do. Posting on here to get instant feedback so I wouldn't mess up too bad.<P>I want my wife to accept the no contact rule, and stop trying to push the limit and break it. I understand your feelings regarding what happened.<P>You don't want no contact, but it has to be for Plan B.<P>Your H obviously doesn't like it, but seems like he is beginning to understand/accept it.<P>We know that Plan B doesn't mean a sudden resolution, and it can be a long time before we know what the result will be. So, to me, getting them to accept it and continue as per our request is good. Doesn't mean that it will always be that way.<P>I think it is better that they accept it. The phase where they fight it is not fun. You and I both know that.<P>I'm not sure if I'm saying this right, because I'm tired and need to sleep, but hopefully it makes a bit of sense.<P>I never realized Plan B would be so stressful, but it is.<P>Lets keep plugging away and stay the course, knowing what our goal is.

Dear HBH:<P>Hon, this is just trying to punish you for doing something he doesn't like...and isn't that one of the reasons why you are doing Plan B...to rock the boat a little...to make him realize that things are going to change...and you're going to have control of your life again....and for it to truly work he has to be uncomfortable.<P>As for being too comfortable with Plan B....well, the natural reaction to being comfortable is not anger, it's not caring one way or the other....and he's angry at you for doing this....this my dear says he cares.<P>You however, reacted as he wanted to his anger...by questioning whether what you are doing is right...please know that it is....and you can't let him push your buttons with anger.<P>I expect he will continue to try to wear down your resolve...just remember it is for the good of all involved (except for OW...and she'll have to take care of herself) that you stay strong. So take his anger as a good sign...your plan is working...keep it up.<P>Faye <P>

Positive!<P>You bet. Do you get angry, cold and mean if you like the way things are? NO!<P>He is having to accept the consequences of the actions he has started and it is unpleasant. He is unable to have his cake and eat it too. <P>Life is tough and he's not able to blame you...even a little bit. It is all on him now. You are not responsible for his decisions...isn't that a scary prospect for him?<P>Cold. Mean. Angry. God is working on him. You just have faith and strength to see it through.<P>HUGS!<P>------------------<BR>AKA: Cali<P><I> Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. </I> <B> Galatians 6:9 </B>

sorry but I have to ask.......what does this mean?<BR> "Said this dolphin is D-6, this is D-2, and this is S-1"<P> <<hugs>> hope your situation improves. <BR> Try and be not so accessable yourself and make him wonder what YOU are up to for a change?

Thanks. I needed that. Rick, Buffy, Diva. You are right, it is a positive sign that he is angry (it was hard to see it at first). MIL says he was acting weird with her in the morning too (real moody, not wanting to talk, etc.). I'm sure him working 100+ hours, his depression and no contact with me is wearing him down. I think he will hit rock bottom this week or next. OW should be gone (in between summer sessions at college), and he just saw the kids for the first time in a month and can't see them again for 2 weeks due to his work schedule. And I am in no contact with him. Not the life I'd like to live, I'll tell you.<P>I'm not going to count on it though. My kids and I have a fun-filled week planned with fairs and fireworks, the beach, and all sorts of fun stuff. It should be awesome. (I'm still sad it's not FAMILY time with my H, but what can you do??).<P>Survivor, unfortunately with kids and no family/friends around, you need to see the H/W to drop off/pick up kids. I try my best to get out of it, but it's impossible sometimes. Still working on that one...<P>Alsohurt,<BR>D-6 (daughter age 6), D-2 (daughter age 2), S-1 (son age 1). He was handing me their presents he had bought. <P>Thanks again everyone, I really needed that jump to make me feel better. It is tough dealing with that. Hey, Rick, I wonder if this is the stage you are going to have to deal with next (anger)? Cuz' I just got through the "call, call, call, try to make them contact you" stage. Now I seem to be in this stage... Hmmm... Good luck!!

HBH, sorry I'm late to you. I agree with the others. If I get a reaction like this, I'll probably have an orgasm.<P>One thing, though, unless I misunderstood, you let your guard down a little with, "you can say Bye y'no". Only a small slip, at worst.<P>You're doing terrific!!<P>WAT