I hope that your journey is successful; that you find you and what your life's purpose is all about.<P>You are a strong, beautiful man and I have been a better person for knowing you and loving you.<P>I am so sorry that our marriage journey has taken this turn, I know that both of us will come out stronger in the long run...as my stepmother always said, "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger." Hence why I became StrongerInCali after the shock wore off...I was InShockInCali.<P>I never came to this website to slam you. As for OW...yeah I probably did...it is so much easier to hate her than you. I realize she has her own demons and reasons for multiple relationships. Believe it or not, I pray for her as well. <P>I came here to understand what was happening in my life, to share stories that I found were similar to others, to try to make sense of the senseless....and yes, sometimes to vent. I wanted to show you so much how much I love you and have been working on changing me....I didn't want you to see and negative...so I put my negative here.<P>Last week I snapped. I made a series of bad decisions. I wasn't intending to be manipulative or threatening. You had sex with me and then went to see her. You had sex with me last night and are probably with her tonight. That is my fault...I am weak when it comes to loving you. But I will become stronger...I will not let my emotions rule my life. I will hand them and you to God.<P>I am putting you in God's Hands.<BR>You are right, I do not own you nor your decisions. That is between you and God, whom I hope that you will turn to... I have faith that he will lead you home. <P>As you know, that is what I have had most of all...FAITH in God...now I also have a relationship with Him.<P><I> Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. </I><BR><B> Isaiah 41:10 </B><P>My love and commitment to you forever,<P>Marsha

Cali<P>Sorry your relationship has gotten to this point.<P>I have no solutions for you, only my own experience to offer.<P>When my W left it was crushing. I did not know how--or if--I could manage alone.<P>It has been nearly four months and guess what--I am still here. A little dog eared and somewhat the worse for wear, but stronger in many ways, too. This will happen to you.<P>You have put your faith in God and that's good. You know that what happens will be His will. But you still need to work on yourself, too. Do what can keep you occupied. Hobbies, exercise, friends etc. It all helps...probably more than you realize.<P>Patience and time...it's a broken record but it will help. After nearly four months, my W is talking about coming home. I didn't know if we could ever get there, but we may. Still it takes a lot of love, patience and time. You appear to have the love. Keep strong and the rest may come your way. <P>Take care...<P>E<p>[This message has been edited by Elad (edited July 02, 2001).]

nudge to top.<P>Love just is. You don't have to do anything to deserve it.<BR>

Up into God's care

Marsha,<BR>You are awesome!<BR>That was a beautiful post.<BR>All the best to you <B>and</B> to Efft..<BR>Blessings,<BR>HBC

((((((Cali)))))....your letter to your H contains a full range of emotion laced with a lot of love. He can't deny your love for him. You've lived, loved and learned and now is the time for you to let it be. As my favorite fictional character said...."Tomorrow, I'll think of some way to get him back. After all, tomorrow is another day."<P>Hang in there, hon!<P>------------------<BR><B>Time heals all wounds as long as you DON'T pick at them!</B>

Cali: I didn't know Efft is you husband. He is hurting very bad. He has tons of anger. I know it is hard, but try to be there for him.<P>Efft: Now that I know who you are, please listen. Everyone has f**k up their life in one way or another. It isn't what we have done in the past that really matters, it is what we do with the future that counts. It may not count with the stock exchange, it may not count with our current employer, but it counts where it matters, with our kids and with our wife. Nothing is more important than them. And if you are the man I think you are, you know that.<P>I've heard Cali's post here. I even egged her on. Does that matter? No, not really. And you know it, down inside. You know you can make it work with her, if you try. Make it work. Be a man. Do what needs to be done. You can do it. Buy into the stuff here. I don't care if you think there are logical loop holes in it. There are. But that doesn't mean it won't work, it only means you haven't understood it correctly. Or that the Harley's haven't completely refined their theory yet. Einstine hadn't refined field theory, but it still mainly holds. Just do it. If the theory is trash, then it is trash, you have nothing to fear. If the theory holds then you have something to build on. Build on it.<P>She is not a monster, you are not a monster. Just effing try. OK?<P>Ish

Hey Cali,<P>I have been following your story and I wanted to tell you how much I am impressed by your courage. You will be okay no matter how this turns out. The bible verse you put on your signature line is one of my favorite promises in the Bible. I usually put my own name in there, as if God was speaking directly to me. I have turned to that promise again and again in my life.<BR>God bless you in all you do, Cali

Efft:<P>What person hasn't screwed their life up at some point? The difference in our character is: do we run from it or face it?<P>On the battlefield, the difference between a coward and a hero is the difference of setting aside your fear a split second longer than anyone else, and in which direction you run.<P>The vehemence of your response the other day tells me you are not ready to face it.<P>I know: It is hard to drain the swamp when you are still wrestling with alligators.<P>Cali: Stay the course, thoughts and prayers with you all.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL<p>[This message has been edited by SeenTheLight (edited July 02, 2001).]

"You are the wind beneath my wings."<P>Love, M

Moving you up Efft...for your children...they need a strong foundation. You and Cali, can Build that for them..

<I> "It's only what you believe will happen and therefore do next that will bring about a life change." </I> page 87, <B>The Prayer of Jabez </B>.<P>"Oh, that You would bless G indeed,<BR>and enlarge his territory,<BR>that Your hand would be with him,<BR>and that You would keep him from evil.<P>adapted from 1 Chronicles 4:9-10

Cali...<P>Your strength, courage, and resolve are amazing! You will be further challenged in this journey and fight. Of this I have no doubts, but I admire the approach you have taken in this journey. <BR>I wish you safe journey and safe haven!!<P>Efft...there is a line in Miracle on 34th Street that fits this situation better than anything I can imagine...it is about Santa Claus and why people believe what they do in life...<P>"Faith is believing in something when common sense tells you not to."<P>I think Cali believes, the people that know you and love you both believe in you, and people all over the place have faith in you. It is time for you to have the same faith in yourself, your marriage and the woman that has chosen to stay by your side no matter what! She has chosen to do so in the face of every conceivable obstacle. It is time to get the monkey off your back and walk forward out of the shadows of anger and into the light of her love for you. You have a rare gift in that she loves you totally, completely, and unconditionally. Embrace that gift. Let go of the anger and let her in. I wish you the best!<BR>As Yoda says to Luke in the swamp..."Try not...Do!"<P>*Out of our greatest fears, come our bravest deeds!*<P>Trueheart