He finally called. Asked if it would be 'convenient' to come and get more of his stuff. I said sure, when.<P>I asked why he changed his mind about going to his mom's. He said he never said that for sure. (I really need to get my ears checked, I think I have a hearing problem.)<P>Anyway, boils down to he feels like he would be unduly influenced there and wants to 'buy' himself one month to be by himself...I sure hope that includes being away from OW.<P>He is coming by this afternoon and we will iron out 'visiting' details. <P>I asked if he would still talk to me and he said do you still want to talk to me? I said sure why not? And then he asked if I was going to change the locks. I asked him what made him think that...MIL said to him that I had been 'advised' to. I told him that, just like him, lots of people were telling me lots of things...and I was just trying to find my way. Big silence for a minute.<P>I said I will see you later. I love you. He said I don't deserve your love. I said love just is...<P>Still in prayer,<P><P>------------------<BR><P><I> Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. </I> <B> Galatians 6:9 </B>

((((((((((Diva)))))))))))) Hang in there, old friend - and if you can spare me some of that strength, please send some over!<P>hugs, Paint

Hello dear,<BR> Just went through your posts for the last couple of days and am so *sad* for you. <BR> He's going on a QUEST? Is he Harry Potter? Is he on drugs? As my sig says, I choose to hold your hand, not point fingers at him or anyone (okay, well, my pinky is aimed at the princess, but can't shove all blame on one person). But it is hard not to take aim at those people who turn their back, bend over, pull their pants down, and have a big ol' bulls-eye painted on their behind!<BR> The boys must be confused and scared. In the next few days that confusion will turn into misery and hatred and will manifest as anger. I sympathize that you're going to have to reign in the little smoker of the bunch, while trying to keep the tube-addicted from falling into fantasy land and burying himself in tv. Add to that maintaining enough strength to smile at the baby when he does something cute, and you're going to be drained. <BR> So sorry, so sorry. . . <BR><P>------------------<BR>I choose to hold hands, rather than point fingers.

Diva:<P>You handled that with class and dignity.<P>Que sera sera.<P>Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family,<BR>Godspeed,<BR>STL

Diva, <P>Is he letting you know where he is living? It took H 2 months before he let me see his place. Claimed OW did not know the address either. Interesting that your H choose not to live with his mom but did not tell you until he moved out?<P>Well, you hang tough there kiddo. Your attention needs to be on you and those little ones. You have told him you love him and he recognizes that he doesn't deserve it. You may eventually tell him that also but it doesn't mean that you don't still love him. <P>Soon your adrenline will begin pettering out. Be prepared since then you will feel the emotional drain and the anxiety attacks could come back. I don't want to scare you just want you to be prepared. Is there anyone checking up on you and helping out with the children? Take advantage of all who offer help as much as possible. Don't play the super mom, you will have enough opportunities for that. <P>The guilt lines your H is saying is very similar to what I heard. The next 2 -3 months will be hard. I kid you not. Know this and be prepared. Same rollercoaster different path. Bumps are placed a bit farther apart but can be just as steep. <P>Your H may be making plans that you are not aware of. Watch his actions instead of his words. Remember once out there, you do not have full influence or control as when he was at home. <P><<<<hugs!>>>><P>Take Care,<P>L.<P>