He's here. I couldn't look him in the eye when he first got here. He said what was wrong...I said nothing. <P>I want to run to him and hug him and ask him never to leave again. I don't.<P>The boys were crazy today. MS (middle son) threw a tantrum that lasted all day long. Kept hitting and beating on OS(oldest son)...Thank goodness YS (youngest son) still naps. I am so tired and in need of a break. The yelling and screaming by them is going to drive me nuts. I used as many 'teacher' and parenting tricks I could, but MS would not be consoled... Finally H got here and MS came over to me and hugged me and said he was sorry...sheesh, am I going to have to go through this everyday? MS is SOOOOOO angry and he won't talk to me about it. I am gentle and quiet with him; I have tried to distract him...nothing works.<P>I did hug and kiss H and tell him I missed him. I also added that I 'hated' how needy I was being...I wanted to just be cool and calm.<P>I guess we are going over to his sisters to bbq and let the boys swim...he asked me if I wanted to go to....<P>Plan A...Plan A...Plan A.... I WILL NOT LB. I WILL NOT LB. I WILL NOT LB.<P>Diva<P>------------------<P><BR><I> Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. </I> <B> Galatians 6:9 </B><p>[This message has been edited by Diva (edited July 02, 2001).]

No direct help, just encouragement.<P>I must admit I didn't understand some of your abbreviations.<P>Still, Plan A is fulfilling the EN of the Spouse, in a unilateral way. Remember, right now, you don't need him to respond, you are stronger than that. All you need is for him to be there so you can do that. You are ok. You are strong. Hang in there for your kids, hang in there for you. Hang in there for the spouse you remember. OK?<P>Ish

Diva:<P>Plan A. Plan A. Plan A. Hmmm ... has kind of a rhythm to it, doesn't it?<P>So stick to Plan A, avoid LBs ... you know, the Mary Poppins approach: accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative.<P>Later, if it comes to it, you can move from musicals to stage theatre and do Hamlet:<P>To B or not to B? That is the question. Whether it is nobler in spirit to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fog ... (ok, I revised Willie's script a little there) ...<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL

<<<<<<<<DIVA>>>>>>>><P>You're doing great! Keep up the good work and plan A'ing!

I think it went well tonight.<P>Maybe small LB regarding boys. Middle son just went out of his mind...while I didn't whine or complain, I did explain what happened and how frustrating it was...also what I was doing to combat it...he also 'made a deal' with MS to listen and behave and not throw tantrums...we will see.<P>We went to his sister's, had a nice visit, boys swam for awhile. We came home and put boys to bed. He stayed and watched a movie with me. <P>He hugged me! He bent his head to kiss me. Nothing passionate, but initiated by him....<P>I know, I know...hopes are not up...but it felt so nice. He told me he couldn't sleep either last night.<P>Before we went to his sisters, he fell asleep on the floor in front of tv. It was so comforting to hear his snores...very co-dependently, I fell asleep on the couch listening to him...<P>He will be back tomorrow as I have a meeting at 3...He also plans to spend the 4th with us...<P>Thank you all for support.<P>Diva<BR>