Well, it didn't go as well as I had hoped. We took my 3 kids and one of my daughter's friends. It went ok at first--altho my youngest daughter said that "Dad's girlfriend called his cell phone at Wal Mart". She answered it and thought it was me. <P>H was distant from me all day. Hard to do while on a boat. We all had fun skiing and tubing however. At the end of the day H was really spinning up. Cussed in front of youngest child while he was learning to ski. Things went downhill from there. We got the boat out--usually a tramatic experience--but I drove it right onto the lift the first time !! We then took it back to storage to wash and put up. H was really angry by this time--no one could do anything right. My son came up to me because we were a little bit behind them when he was putting the boat into storage. He whispered to me "Dad is really cussing now Mom".. I asked him what was wrong and Kyle didn't know. Went to help hubby and he made some smart comment like...I'm good but not that good...at least Kyle didn't desert me." Whatever. He then got in his truck and drove off fast. My daughter was driving my car and is just learning how to drive, so we were a ways behind them. We were going to eat in a little town on the way home--he had my youngest daughter call me on my cell phone to see where we were. We were just a little behind them. When we got to the town, Kaitie came back to our car and said that Dad wanted to eat at Applebee's or Taco Bell. We said ok. Then H came racing out of the car yelling "ok boys and girls...there is no Applebee's here..now how hard is this....it's either McDonald's or Taco Bell. Make up your mind it's not that hard!! I was embarassed for Mandy, with her friend there. He then waltzed back to his car, took off for MCDonalds's and went through the drivethru. The girls and I went in, a few minutes later my two little ones came in to use the restroom. Kyle came over and said that Dad was really angry now and was cussing a lot. He asked if he could come home with me...I said sure. But he and Kaitie never came back. When we got home he had showered the kids, gotten his clothes together, put the garbage out for tomorrow. He walked by me in the kitchen without saying a word. I went up to give Kaitie and Kyle a kiss and they said that Dad had to leave...and I said Yea, I knew. I went back downstairs and out to the garage. He came over, gave me a quick kiss and said "Have fun in Europe." Then he got in his car. He forgot his toolbox and came to put that in the garage. I asked him "shouldn't we talk". He said about what. I said about this relationship and what we are doing. He turned around and said "We'll talk when you get back from Europe." And he is gone...and I am feeling down again. I had a feeling this is how this would turn out. How sad. I don't know why I keep putting myself through this. What was the purpose of this weekend. He just wants his family...and not me. I don't think I can do this much longer. I hope I can bounce back better this time. Right now I feel pretty bad. I hate how he affects me. I know I shouldn't respond like this...but how can you help it?

MNM:<P>Not a total boating disaster: that is spelled Titanic.<P>Chalk another one up to the fog. Perhaps there is a direct correlation between the cellphone call and his attitude. Perhaps he is transferring guilt into anger directed at you and the children. Perhaps a lot of things.<P>But unless you are fluent in fogese will won't truly know them. (In fact, neither does he.)<P>Godspeed and prayers,<BR>STL

Now I am worried that without closure or any discussions of any kind today...I will worry about this for the next 3 weeks. It would have been better if he hadn't come home this weekend. <P>I think he was just trying to still "be there for the family". Not a very nice thought. <P>Why doesn't he just say he wants a divorce. Wouldn't closure be better than this limbo?<P>How hard is it to love someone and show them that you care. Was reading sad_n_lonely's threads....I think that is where it is with my husband...he has allowed himself to fall out of love. After 21 years of marriage, you would think by this time, our marriage would be solid. I will be sad moving on without him in my life. But I don't see a future.