Okay. I'm in plan B. Just got this email from H. Of course, now I am all freakin' out again because I don't know what it is he wants to tell me. Lord give me strength. What if it's to tell me he still loves OW and has decided to be with her and doesn't want to come home?? I don't want to hear that, do you think he is that cruel that he would try to hurt me more???<P>I need to reply and find out if what he wants to talk about has to do with coming home and giving up OW. How do I do that and stay in plan B?<P>Here's the email:<P>Hi <W>. I was wondering if you whee ready to talk again, because I really want to tell you about what the girls did this weekend. I would also like to tell you how the dig is going and what we found. Maybe <OD> would like to go see it.<P>I also have some other stuff to tell you, but I will only do that in person, so let me know when you are ready to talk again.<P>H <P><BR>How is this reply:<BR> Hi! I would love to talk with you, but as you know I am trying hard to work on myself and stay strong while you are in limboland. As my letter stated, if you have decided that you want me and want to try and work things out, I would be so happy to spend time with you and talk about how we make our lives wonderful. I know what we need to do now to make this happen.<P>Otherwise, it just hurts too much. I can't. I love you and miss you. Take care sweatheart.<BR>

I think your reply sounds good (just change sweatheart to sweetheart .)<P>I'm sure others with more plan b experience will also reply.<P>STRENGTH..STRENGTH..STRENGTH...<P>[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[HUGS]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]<P>Diva<P>------------------<BR><P><I> Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. </I> <B> Galatians 6:9 </B>

HBH - good job asking here before you hit the "send" button.<P>How 'bout this:<P>As my letter stated, I would love to talk with you if you have decided that you want me and are willing to commit to our marriage and end all contact with <OW>. If this is the case, I would be so happy to spend time with you and talk about how we make our lives wonderful. I know what we need to do now to make this happen.<P>Otherwise, it just hurts too much. I can't.<P>Love,<BR>HBH<P>Please wait for other responses.<P>WAT

Excellent. Brief and to the point. Basically what I told my H at the beginning of my Plan B. I kind of failed at Plan B but not really becasue he was home for good within less than a month! But when I told him basically "No contact, no more revolving door, this is too painful..." He started with "Well I will make sure I still come over to check on you and help around the house.." Nope, sorry. When he realized I actuallu meant NO CONTACT it was quite a shock.

Hurtbyhubby:<P>I'm in complete agreement with WAT's rewording. I would add a little bit at the end letting him know that he should contact your daughters if he has something to say to them.<P>And do sign it "love"<P>

It's great to hear you are doing so well. Remember that what ever happens you will be fine. You can and will have a great life with or without your H. These times are tests for all. Don't read too much into it and let him wonder if he can get you back. After all, you are not the one that shattered the trust. Keep working on getting stronger for yourself let him work on getting you and your trust back. <BR>Make your answer short with little to no elaberation. After all you have written the letter that tells him everything you want him to know. How about something like...<P>Hi, I would love to hear about the girls. We can talk on (give him a date, time and place that is convienent for you). Let me know if this is OK. <P>

HBH:<P>WAT's amendment is a keeper.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL

I agree w/WAT. Definitely take out that LIMBOLAND comment, that is a LB.

Just to add to the chorus: WAT's got it. <P>Ish

WAT - you RULE!! That re-wording was awesome. Thank you so much. Will let you guys know what happens...<P>

Darn, I forgot to add K's comment to the end. Oh well. Thanks anyway, it was a good idea.<P>JuJu, thanks for the awesome encouragement!! <P>And again, thanks everyone. Just hit the send button now. It's been 3 days since my H sent the letter (I just read it now - he sent it to my work account and I am off this week), so I get some satisfaction in that he's had to wait and wonder about my response and I didn't get back to him right away.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by hurtbyhubby:<BR><B>WAT - you RULE!! That re-wording was awesome.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>No, I disagree. <P>This only illustrates the value of this forum. When you're trying to handle your own issues, you are always vulnerable to inserting too much emotion. Any of the others would have offered a similar alternative - I just got there first.<P>You're doing great. I'll be taking your advice soon.<P>WAT

WAT - you're too modest...<P>Anyway, no reply yet to my email. Wish I would have remembered to check the flag to notify me when he read it. Oh well...<P>I keep thinking that H is spending today with OW and her family. GRRRRR... He didn't even ask to take the kids to fireworks or anything. Wonder if it will be another month before he sees them again. GRRR.... I hate college-witch and everything she has put my family through. I can't get her face out of my head.<P><sigh>. That's my update. The kids and I are going to see fireworks tonight. I will miss my H, but oh well, can't think about that now.<P>Happy 4th everyone!!